[Syrah]

ONE
alone
singular

void of company
ravaged by loneliness
Scrutiny in rawest form

"a distinctive voice carried through"

[Storiesmaniac]

ay! i read it...you cant kill me now...lol...I like this, it carries with it that feeling of lonliness...but i also got a feeling of hope at the end, i dont know if thats what you were aiming for, but thats what i got...Really nice sy!

[bookworm]

hi sy, how r u? just checkin around. this piece of yours is quite unique, as always - giving a different kind of meaning to the word "one". you are knocking out mr. dictionary in this case -just kidding! we'll expressed. concise but pulls it all...well done!

[Corneac]

Yeah. Nicely doen Sy...makes me wanna give you a great big hug. All loney and whatnot...awww....lol. But really, I ain't no good at clarity pyramids and this was fantastic!

[Jer4Clarity]

Sy,

What you have done here is exquisite and eloquent. I've seen quite a few CP's on this word but you have captured a side to ONE that no ONE else has seen......This is my favorite ONE!

Jerry

[Venus]

I hate it.

Haha-I'm kidding. It's actually very good. I love the flow and how unique it is.

[Venomous Vixen]

Ah Sy what can I say but wow... and dammit woman if you ever are feeling like this you know you have a partner in crime just a phone call away...

But seriously this is incredible!!

[Lubesh]

yep covered from top to bottom lol and some natty writing to boot..excellent last line of thought.

[Syrah]

Thanks everybody

[Ferris]

I know I've already told you this, but I reckon it works backwards just as well... very nice idea. I bet you have a degree you just aint letting on!

[Ryankia]

So simple and easy to relate to. Perfection at its finest!

[Vorcla]

Awwww...makes me want to cry! Didn't you get the roses I sent you, Sweetie?

Seriously, honny, I don't know how I missed this one. Very desolate tone; your word choices are spot on. And I told you what I thought of your form on the reflective pyramid you did on "Sole." Blows me away how you guys do that, Sy. I tried it once and it looked like a mud puddle.

Incredible job, hon!

[Rain]

This is before my poetry times, so I apologize that I haven't seen it or commented on it.

Sy, this was brilliant, as everybody here has said. It's something that everybody can relate to, and really know what you are talking about. That's what I like about it most, it's relatable. I absolutely loved the use of the word "ravaged" it really made that whole line be like a punch in the face with deepness and emotion. "Scrutiny" was also a good word for the start of another fantastic line. And for the end.... what is to be said about it? It's terrific, and everybody knows it. Therefore, nothing is to be said. Fantastic job.

[Syrah]

Thank you Tay.. I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad you peroused some of my older stuff. I always appreciate your comments.

[Syrah]

Rick~~ Thank you so much. You know I appreciate your comments and it makes me happy that you like it. This one is a syllable count poem so you know how I was with word selection already hahahaha

[MindsEye]

Once again I agree ...BUT... I have to disagree with some of the others about the feelings here. A one singularuty... alone in existance... does not necessarily represent sadness. Strength can be drawn from the moments where one must stand against the unknown "void" or the "scrutiny" of the world. This CP can be seen as empowering and encouragement to those who do face this existance as one. Great structure.. the syllable build between lines is good but not exact but the word use and development makes up for that in its emotional attachments. The "scrutiny" line does take the reader on a tangent by proposing something existant outside the "one" but the overall effect is one of unity to the theme. Again as I proposed the final line eludes to the strength of one voice to "carry through". What are we carrying through? Questions may be posed... time, the crowd, ones own memories of a moment somewhere distant... or yet to come. There is much more to be had with this piece than appears. Wonderfully simple yet poignant.

[Syrah]

Yes- this particular form- clarity pyramid... has syllable structure of 1,2,3 5,6,7 8. First line is title and subject. Lines 2 and 3 are meant to be synonymous/explanatory to the one syllable word..... stanza two expands into related thoughts type of writing. The last line is supposed to be a line that can have the first line derived from it. Keeping a poignant entry while keeping very strict to the structure can be interesting. Here I was using "one" as synonymous to "you" and the voice in your head. It is the thing that is always there... it is you.. it is your worse critic..... it is separate but it is you... Alone.. one.


I really appreciate your comments and look forward to more. Keen eye

[PaulJJ]

Hey not much I can say that someone already hasn't but just wanted to say I loved it. Nice work.