[RENA HANDS]

Bella: An almost complete Alliteration...

Bella, bejeweled ballerina
by bullion bracelet, banded
by Burgundy birthstones,
Braided is her brunette bun.

Bounce up
Beat down ballet booties
Bounce up.

Brush back your blushing branch
Bounce up
Bounce up.

Bow before beloved brother
Be bathed by blooming,
Bloodied buds and blaring bellows.

Rena Hands May 2008

[Nupur]

Very nice, Rena. This is really good. You have a way with alliteration, like the rest of the poems in the same series have proved. This is no exception. Flows easily. Doesn't look forced. I love the beginning of this poem, more than anything else. Her description was really, really amazing. Easy alliteration which made complete sense and gave it a beautiful quality. It just rolls off the tongue. Very well done. The repetition got to me a little, but you have done that too very well. Nice work.

[RENA HANDS]

Thank you Nupur, I hope that there will be many, many more enjoyable writes to come.

[Lubesh]

Bounce up
Beat down ballet booties
Bounce up.

Brush back your blushing branch
Bounce up
Bounce up

by contrast, I loved this. Booties ..lol great stuff rena.

[thelma&louise]

I don't know why, but this reminded me of tap-dancing, and also, a kind of upbeat song. Love it. The last part was my favorite. "Bloodied buds and blaring bellows". Great work.

[RENA HANDS]

Ah, well I am glad that you enjoyed the last line. It gave me much hassle, bloodied or blooded.

[Vorcla]

I didn't know there were that many words that began with "B." Nice use of, um, what's that called? Oh, yeah - alliteration. Your word choices give it a smooth flow. Good job.

[Ryankia]

When I saw this, the first thing which jumped into my head was V, from V for Vedetta. Why? Because in the beginning when he was introducing himself to EV, he went off using almost every "V" word in the dictionary. It was well scripted and this is equally done.

It can be difficult to pull of this type of poetry without being forced or improperly defined in some way. Quite impressive.

[RENA HANDS]

I can only hope to make/post even more ‘impressive’ Alliterations. So thank you again, my readers/critics, my friends.

[Corneac]

Hahaha, this was awesome Rena. Like a tongue twister! But more poetic, I loved the middle stanzas best, the description of the shoes and movement. Were awesome, there a erious limitation with this form I think, but you pulled it off well regardless. Nice, Rena.

[Rakkasan]

Oftentimes, alliterations can be worn thin in no time at all. And yet this poem did not seem overburdened with it. In fact it rolls along quite nicely.

Good choice at the end. "Bloodied" definitely beats "Blooded"!

[Venomous Vixen]

I loved the way you incorporated colors in here, brunette, burgundy, blushing, bloodied... it was quite a contrast to the pastels and pinks I generally imagine when I think of the ballet and I welcomed the tinge of darkness here. As has been said, you have a way will alliteration. Just wonderful!

[The Druid]

Perfect! I liked the 'braided is her brunette bun' part. It really is very easy on the mind.

[RENA HANDS]

Corneac, thanx for comments, always. The intent was an alliteration, but a combination of a twister that was just a bonus. I am happy that you thought it ‘awesome.’ The limitation was intentional too, only because I thought further addition might take away from the straight and simple picture I was trying to illustrate. Also, on a not so humorous note, I ran out of my knowledge of ‘B’ words…lol

Rakkasan, (love the name by the way), I hope that my ‘collection’ of alliterations does not dull nor bore the readers of this site. I therefore cautiously write and post them with time. It took over 20 writes to result in this One, but I am joyous, always pleased that a reader or two have enjoyed it immensely. Syrah assisted GREATLY between ‘bloodied,’ or ‘blooded.’

Venomous Vixen, always, always I am ecstatic to read/hear that you enjoyed my write/post. And you are correct, most ballerinas are associated with ‘pink,’ but I wanted to show something different. I hope that future alliterations will be accepted with much enthusiasm.

The Druid, my newest friend…I am glad that you were able to see clearly the simple beauty of the ‘braided is her brunette bun,’ write.

[Syrah]

I commented on this poem so much by pm that I didn't realize I hadn't commented on it via forum!

As I had said previously, this piece is wonderfully done. Getting a nice alliteration with more than idol nuisances of content and thought it more difficult to pull off than many aspects of poetry. Seeing the first, second and third edits to this piece was indeed a great privilege, and I thank you for including my opinions to your creative process.

I look forward to more alliterations--and I say, don't feel you have to space them way far apart. This site doesn't see alliterations and would be all the grander for having some quality examples on it.

[RENA HANDS]

Syrah, it is my privilege and honor to work with you. You are so more focused than I. Happy always to hear/read that yet another one of my posting has been welcomed with positive results.