[Epsilonist]

Afternoon air stills
sun slowly sinks to earth's edge
chased by leaden clouds

Thickening air cools
Pursued sun is devoured
triumphant clouds swarm

Rushing breezes sing
quickly on soprano wings
To thunder's bass voice

First droplets are thrown
Escaping the lightning's threat
But dashed on the ground


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A first try at chain haiku

[Lubesh]

A very poetic piece, I like it very much

[osofoaddo]

Not a bad try on your first Haiku.
Osofoaddo

[Intrinsic]

I thought I had taken Haiku to at least some kind of borders edge...
It would seem that you werent considering an edge at all when you ran with it.
2 words-outdone,outshined.Nice work,nice concept...

[Epsilonist]

Thanks for the comments, all Reading this in winter brings back the sharp memory of those summer thunderstorms. The anticipation of a storm is the best part, I think.

[osofoaddo]

Thank you for sharing this ...
I hope you will have time to look at my story of an Afican Christmas Legend..Again thank you .

[Verbatim]

I think chain Haiku is called Renga, and it is (5 7 5 / 7 7). Both alternating until you have it at the length you want. And sometimes, I think they end it with 9 9.

[Epsilonist]

Perhaps yes, Verbatim. I am largely ignorant of the fine points in Haiku, so thanks for the info. I meant "chain haiku" in the simple sense that I have a group of haiku that relate to one another in sequence, and tell a story. Apologies if this is an incorrect arrangement. Thanks to everyone for the comments on this piece!

[Ryankia]

Brilliant piece for a first attempt, Espi!

Though, I felt "dashed" in the last line didn't feel right to me.

[Rain]

That was cool, I don't usually look into poetry. But I liked it

[Timmay]

well done! its had to believe this is your first linked haiku.

one thing, i might be destroying the main idea of the haiku, but punctuation would seperate your thoughts. like i said, it might destroy the haiku, but a nice comma here and there would get your point across.

Ok. i might be a moron as far as poety oes, or just a moron in general, but it was just my thought.

otherwise, terrific descriptions, etc. its hard to belive you can fit so much in so little