[Corneac]

Your pupil dilated, stares back at me,
As slowly,
Unwillingly,
Mercilessly,
It glistens,
Mahogany, shimmering,
Like dark, rich textured wood,
Freshly varnished,
But still wet and dripping,
Glossing,
So delicately
it wilts from the crevice of its socket,
Overflowing,
Its modesty unable to contain
its truth from showing,
A salty globule
still heartlessly growing,


It falls,
Cascades from its fissure of defence,
Falling, vulnerable,
Beyond sense,
Curving down your pale skin
in an irresolute arch,
Dampening,
Your papyrus touch,
Circling the etch of your jaw,
The cleft of your smile,
To the corner of your lips,
It lays forgotten,
Untouched,
It sits,

I turn away,
For the last time,
Wiping a single tear,
From the well of my eye,

[angel]

this is excellent corn. so moving. so full of information on summat so small this is brilliant *virtual pat on the back*

kel

[SeaN]

Awesome man! really good descriptions Corneac. Quite sad as well. I like how the entire poem is about this solitary tear that you are watching fall, but you turn away just in time to hide the one that falls from your eye. Is that interpretation correct? or are the brown eyes your own as you watch in the mirror? I enjoyed this one allot mate- nicely written

[Corneac]

Yep you got it. Hey thanks a bunch for commenting NYU and arsenal...

[Lubesh]

'...or are the brown eyes your own'..lol wouldn;t be surprised.

Beautiful microscopic details overflowing with a writers deft touch.superb

[Corneac]

Thanks Lu...I never tiire of your comments...lol

[Lubesh]

mm ifthis is your eye which makes sense what threw me waswriting..'your pale skin.but i suppose that's ok too. must be tired.lol I was looking for a surreal sort of twist maybe

[Corneac]

Originally Posted by NYUphamism

I like how the entire poem is about this solitary tear that you are watching fall, but you turn away just in time to hide the one that falls from your eye. Is that interpretation correct?

I meant that was right...lol. Sorry.

[ejenk21]

It's wrong of me, but I prefer the interpretation that it's the speaker looking into a mirror.

I think you want:

Your pupil, dilated...



I just checked Google. Sometimes I see references to dilated irises. Therefore, I guess it is my poetic license that must be revoked.

[RENA HANDS]

From first glance a mistake in spelling, the word is defense. Are you certain that you want to make this a long sentence... "To the corner of your lips, It lays forgotten, Untouched, It sits,..?" I must ask also, should there not be a comma in the first line... "Your pupil, dilated stares back at me,...?"

The poem is filled with much striking imagery and genuine emotions. I must question would many see their lover's eyes or their own eyes in comparison to a Mahogany varnished table? I have missed the meaning completely?

[delphis49]

wow. not only do you discribe the tear, but the face as well. is this tear one of joy or sorrow?

[Corneac]

Sorrow. lol. Thanks a bunch Delphis...

[Peppy]

I was a hundred percent sure I responded to this poem. I probably didn't respond because I was jealous, but not so much anymore. This poem is fricking cool. It's a good thing I searched for it to re-read it for the second time. It seems to give a long-lasting feeling though I don‘t know what that feeling is specifically. Your imagery was beautiful. The first time I didn't get it(last year), but I get it now. Hahahaha.

One last thing, why does it end in a comma? Shouldn't it be a period? Plus, I think the last verse needs a strong last line; I think there's one last line missing that should sum it all. That's my opinion anywho, don't need to listen.

Nonetheless, this is an excellent poem. My type, I guess.

[Corneac]

Thanks a bunch Pep, wow, old poem. I don't want to fidle with it, too far back maybe to recpature the mood? Thanks man, I appreciate it.

[iwrite4areason]

I really like the visual imagery of this poem - the way it moves from top to bottom as each stanza gets shorter. It is very effective for the reading....

it wilts from the crevice of its socket,

This is my favorite line. It has the greatest picture and feel. I'm not doing the best job of expressing myself here...but this is a very strong line and I applaud you for it!

[Corneac]

Thanks kids! This is old as, but I'm glad you guys liked it. Cheers for the feedback.