[Rakkasan]

My grandpa used to smoke his pipe, and read to me a book
beneath the oldest of oak trees that stood beside a brook.

His long white whiskers hid his face, but in his eyes I'd see
a storyteller true at heart. No, he could not fool me.

My grandpa could not read at all, and that was how I knew
that all the stories, which he told me all the while I grew,

were really tid-bits of his life he wanted to pass on
so that he would be remembered long after he was gone.

The stories were both short and long. They told of days gone by.
I'd listen, oh so carefully, and gaze into the sky.

He'd "read" to me all afternoon until at last he'd say,
"It's suppertime - we'd better git, or both of us will pay!"

Though many years have come and gone, the memories are kind.
And all the stories that he told go sifting through my mind.

As now it's my turn, book in hand, I sit beneath that tree,
and pass the tales to my grandson, who listens close to me.

[Phonoho]

Excellent! Boy, neat, sweet and complete. You've got some good moves here. Please do what you can to assist other struggling writers here to find such a voice. We welcome you.

[Rakkasan]

Thank you for your kind words. I am both honored and humbled by being among a group of people that are so talented. I can see that I have much to learn, but if everyone else can endure my attempts, I'll keep attempting. (There's always aspirin.)

[Phonoho]

Originally Posted by Rakkasan

Thank you for your kind words. I am both honored and humbled by being among a group of people that are so talented. I can see that I have much to learn, but if everyone else can endure my attempts, I'll keep attempting. (There's always aspirin.)

And coffee.

[Phonoho]

You have written these couplets in perfect iambic heptameter, also called a fourteener. Are you sure you wouldn't like to have this posted in Closed Form?

[Rakkasan]

I had intended to, but realized what I did after the post was made. I didn't know it could be changed. Now that you have opened the editing door for me, what's with the "Content (below the </b>):" line? I thought I had to leave that. Will it show up in the actual post? Thanks for your help as I muddle through this new terrain!

[Phonoho]

We can remove the content marker before posting. We can do lots of things.
It does not have to be in Closed Form but prime examples like this do represent the section well.

[Rakkasan]

Please go ahead and change that to the "closed form" catagory for me. It will be well suited there. Now then, I'm off on Father's Day activities. It's bound to be a long, but enjoyable day. Have a great day.

[Lubesh]

Apart fromthe immaculate delivery and storty telling quality the full circleor handed down aspect was superb also.

My grandpa could not read at all, and that was how I knew
that all the stories, which he told me all the while I grew,

were really tid-bits of his life he wanted to pass on
so that he would be remembered long after he was gone.

That was just so lovely too!

[Rakkasan]

Thank you.

I wrote that poem on October 17, 1995 out of despair. I never had a grandfather to talk to, and know little about either of mine.

I always liked it, but never thought it to be well written. I am very simply glad that after nearly twelve years, others are reading it for the first time. I suppose it was always meant to be shared, but this was a big step for me. It helps that this group is an extremely friendly and helpful lot.

Your kindness is both well noted, and received. Thanks again! I am pleased that it brought you a moment of enjoyment.

Well, back to my Father's Day excursion. I hope I'm not too tired tonight to come back here and read some more. Enjoy your father and grandfathers if you're able. If not, enjoy the memories they have given you.

[SeaN]

Rakk... I really love this one man. Honestly, the way if flows is really quite stunning. Your message is deep, and put a huge smile on my face as I got to the last couple of lines.

This is a wonderful homage to a grandfather. I will never forget those who read to me when I was young- for I feel it forms a special kind of bond. Reading your work reminded me of those people- many of whom have passed.

Excellent poem man- honestly. I look forward to seeing some more submissions from you.

[Rakkasan]

Thank you! What you've said means so much more than you know.

[Corneac]

This is very nice Rakkasan. An exquisitely told story, personally I think it would sit better in "Narrative", but this is beautiful and heartfelt, a poem that makes me wish I knew my Grandfather’s. I hope to see a lot more poems of this calibre form you mate, well done.

[RENA HANDS]

As now it's my turn, book in hand, I sit beneath that tree,
and pass the tales to my grandson who listens close to me.

A very romantic and charming tale of endless love.

[Rakkasan]

Originally Posted by RENA HANDS

A very romantic and charming tale of endless love.

Thank you!

[dearest]

Absolutely beautiful, Rakkasan. The storytelling element and imagery are stunning.

His long white whiskers hid his face, but in his eyes I'd see
a storyteller true at heart. No, he could not fool me.

I can picture every single image. Thanks so much for a great read.

[Rakkasan]

Thank you very much...

The greatest thing about it is that others are getting enjoyment out of reading it. There are a lot of great reads hiding in various corners of this site, so keep looking around. Better yet, contribute as often as possible.