[Rain]

Resting on this park slide, looking to the view,
it's late, but I don't wanna move.
The moon shines bright, clouds drift by,
fruit bats fly across my line of vision.

I zone off into a night world so pleasant,
I'm free to relax, I'm at peace here.
Clouds get darker, and block out the moon,
it starts to rain, but I don't wanna leave.

It's complex, I need to leave, but I can't.
It's weird, I should go, but I'm not going to.

My relaxation quickly turns to anger,
depression lurks right around the corner.
Tears gather in my eyes, my fists clench tight,
I let out a scream as everything seems to slow.

The park slide treated me well, for awhile.
It turned on me and hurt me badly, still hurts.
That place is something complicated,
it's horribly beautiful, and beautifully horrible

[Venomous Vixen]

This completely reminded me of a transition from childhood to adulthood. Your beginning was that whole glass full thing, everything was exciting and beautiful... maybe even the feeling of falling in love, when it is simple and pure, and then you transition well with that two line stanza... it is a feeling of wanting to run and not being able to move, well captured. And then the last bit, and everything feels tainted, half empty. This could be applied to a lot, wonderful, hun!

[Rain]

Thanks! I appreciate it!

[Alex]

Iliked it too. It's as if he didnt want to leave because he want to feel the anger, as if it is a drug. Keeping something bottled up inside takes a tole on people and sometimes you must just relieve your stress, even if it means getting mad and falling on the wet ground.

[Rain]

Thanks buddy, I appreciate it a lot.

[smokeytehmonstr]

Or, sometimes, you think you enjoy something until it eventually just makes you so angry and you just loathe the thing from them on. I, too, see a lot of applications the childhood/adult thing. I think it's the setting that does it--a park slide is something so iconic of childhood, but these are obviously very adult emotions you're dealing with.

I liked this a lot.

[Rain]

Thanks smokey I love when people comment on my stuff .

[Lubesh]

The park slide treated me well, for awhile.
It turned on me and hurt me badly, still hurts

I have read thisa few times now and although I have the same thoguhts as some of the others these twolines doesn't make sense to me...rewording it i found I was doing. The point you make that what was once a 'sacred'palce childhoodor oher like now'turned on you' that spoiled it, I felt your own wants emotions life turned on you ur mood/attitude if u see what I mean not the actual place or item..unless am wrong.but another gracious write altair!

[Rain]

Originally Posted by Lubesh

I have read thisa few times now and although I have the same thoguhts as some of the others these twolines doesn't make sense to me...rewording it i found I was doing. The point you make that what was once a 'sacred'palce childhoodor oher like now'turned on you' that spoiled it, I felt your own wants emotions life turned on you ur mood/attitude if u see what I mean not the actual place or item..unless am wrong.but another gracious write altair!

I see what you mean, 100% I guess I probably should've though that out a little more... Oh yeah, no it wasn't a gracious write .

[Peppy]

I found an ancient piece in the Dark section. I was looking for something more dark than this, like dark imagery or just plain ol' evil.

I still liked it though. I can relate to the impulsive need just to be somewhere else, somewhere else less horrible. But as we can see in the poem, it's sometimes not possible. Moody and frustrating little piece you have here.

Good indeedy.

(Now I got to look for some dark evil.)

[Rain]

God damn this is old Thanks for taking a look Peppy.

[Vorcla]

Interesting. The whole childhood/adult transition is pretty apparent; if you didn't intend it, you did a good job of distilling it. ^_^ To me, the lines about the park slide turning on you were one of the highlights of the poem. Nice job, Tay-man.

[Rain]

Thank Rick.(btw love the name "Tay-man )