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Old 19-12-2008, 05:27 AM
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[PICK] The Word is Mightier than the Medication

Voices murmur
Brushing through my thoughts
Like a whispering wind.
The words penetrate me
Like an electric shock
Given from a psycho psychiatric doctor.
I am confused,
Yet the message is clear.
Dominate.
The word echoes through the corners of my mind.
Dominate.
I shiver.
The padded cell seems to shrink around me.
Dominate
The world.
Conquer
All.
The words torture me.
How I ask.
Let me show you.
The words seem to smile menacingly.
The words engulf me.
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Last edited by Vorcla; 21-12-2008 at 10:14 AM. Reason: Final edit
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Old 21-12-2008, 10:16 AM
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Re: The Word is Mightier than the Medication

Oh, this is creepy. Spooky, actually. Definitely a dark mood. I like some of the wordplay you bring in, Kat, like "psycho psychiatric doctor." This is very thoughtful, almost cerebral. Nicely done!
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Old 21-12-2008, 10:25 AM
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Re: The Word is Mightier than the Medication

Mm, nice and psychological. The title caught me and made me read it, so it definitely did its job well!

Quote:
How I ask.
Let me show you.
Perhaps a question mark after ask?
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Old 23-12-2008, 01:07 PM
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Re: The Word is Mightier than the Medication

Short and sweet. Left me wanting to read more, which is always a good thing
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Old 24-12-2008, 02:26 AM
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Re: The Word is Mightier than the Medication

Thanks y'all. . .
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Old 09-01-2009, 03:17 AM
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Re: [PICK] The Word is Mightier than the Medication

I enjoyed how it read off, quick. Especially near the end. The title caught me as well, it definitely drew me in. I agree on the question mark point that Beagle made, I also stopped for a second and was going to suggest it believe it or not. . Although there is the 'ask' dilemma, the last five lines were my favorite of the poem. Especially the last one, it really hit me.
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Old 14-01-2009, 11:53 AM
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Re: [PICK] The Word is Mightier than the Medication

I was seriously debating adding it after either How or ask. . . I couldn't decide so i thought that I'd put it up to see what y'all thought. . . thanx again
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Old 01-07-2009, 03:52 AM
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Re: [PICK] The Word is Mightier than the Medication

Hmmm, is the person wanting to conquer by writing?

Sorry, I'm kinda literal, the title confuses me.

I liked this though, yeah, power to the people...in the cells! lol
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Old 15-07-2009, 02:13 PM
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Thumbs up Re: [PICK] The Word is Mightier than the Medication

I think this could be as One…

Voices murmur
Brushing through my thoughts
Like the whispering wind,
This* words, they penetrate me
Like an electric shock
Given from a *Psycho Psychiatric Doctor.
(You are titling a specific profession here.).

Why not also the following…

Yet the message is clear-
Dominate.
The word echoes from the darkest recesses of my mind-
Dominate.
I shiver.
The padded cell seems to shrink around me-
Dominate,
This* world.
Conquer-
All.


A very Conceptual posting. I am not meaning it cannot be understood. It is just the opposite. This writing is Extremely Mentally, Physically and Emotionally Provoking.
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Old 30-07-2009, 06:39 AM
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Re: [PICK] The Word is Mightier than the Medication

interesting...interesting...is this evil speaking? greed perhaps? i'd like to think of it as such. nice.
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Old 12-10-2009, 10:47 AM
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Re: [PICK] The Word is Mightier than the Medication

Creepy. Disturbing. Powerful. Dark. The ramblings of a psycho tyrant or a world-dominating villain, in a padded cell?

Reads easily but the 'message' is anything but.
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Old 30-10-2009, 12:45 PM
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Re: [PICK] The Word is Mightier than the Medication

I like the spookiness of this one, and I like the idea that medication doesn't stop the voices. Having never suffered from any kind of schizophrenia or other auditory hallucinations, I could never say exactly what its like but I've always imagined that the words in my head would be one or two or three powerful and disturbing words repeated instead of some rambling voice. I like how you took that approach to it as well, it made it match my impression of it better.
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