If you ever had spent a sleepless night, when sounds become to sharp and loud, and chills come crawling up to your spine, you'll know what I meant by this...
Cry of owls
in the night,
such a lonely,
distant, sound.
Shadows crawl,
from all earth's pores,
searching, seeking
over land.
Darkness, so thick
that swallows sound
silent night,
where fears begin...
Kill it quick,
before it screams.
Kill it fast,
so it can sleep.
Ghosts are speaking
in the night,
shallow shells
of mortals souls.
Sleepless clicking
of the clock,
in the darkness,
on the wall.
Make me aching,
make me mad
Make my heartbeats
run and scream.
Make me squirm
in chains of shadows,
and a fractured glass
of the dreams.
Nightmares dancing
in my head,
scars on dreams
and pains of night.
Terrors prancing
from the dark,
killing all thoughts
of the light.
Ruining memories
of the day ,
leaving sand and dust
to keep.
Kill me quick,
before I scream.
Kill me fast,
so I can sleep.
__________________ The clowns were passing, and everybody knows that inside, somewhere, their hearts are broken.
i know what u mean about not being able to sleep and everything just becomeing larger as more fear comes with the little sounds shadows and of the night............great work
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The best poetry is born not written!
-------<@
*HUGS*
hi maylar.i had some trouble joining and verifying that site every time i posted i ahd to go thru the same ritual.anyway u r work is exciting intelligent, beautiful and u r a truely gifted individual who should go far...i hope u use ur gift to you own end and recieve all the rewards it deserves and i urge others to go see!!!!
__________________
Did you know...points are up for grabs....just for entering...
250 - LIMERICK, CFPC, 55, EMWE, 1000, TotM, 1000 WC
100 - VOTING IN A CONTEST POLL, YES, JUST VOTING!
I could hardly find better thing to say than: thank you, very, very much! I’m really appreciate it!
(and sorry for the site giving you hard time, unfortunately, it tend to do that some time)
__________________ The clowns were passing, and everybody knows that inside, somewhere, their hearts are broken.
thought I'd already posted here. But this is VERY good maylar, everyone who's ever had trouble sleeping can definitely relate to this. It describes eveything perfectly.
Quote:
Kill me quick,
before I scream.
Kill me fast,
so I can sleep.
This works on so many levels for me, shows your desparation of wanting sleep, and the fact you'd do anything for it. I really like it.
Your rhythm is constant and simple. Your rhyming is spot on, excellent job maylar. Enjoyable to read.
Sorry all, for late response...
Syrah, I will post something soon, hopefully...I like to be sure about every of my works, and English not being my primary language, always make things even slower...Thankfully, there is always some good people here, who are ready to help, so I'm moving on. Again, I hope something will be ready soon...
Duncan, thank you very much for your comment and for you liking this poem...I was hoping to achieve "the feel" of insomnia, and it seem to me it worked, but knowing someone else think that too, gives me an even greater satisfaction. Thank you
And, also, for all interested, "Insomnia" comic won a small award, on one small contest...it is nothing much, but I must say I'm very pleased and happy for it : D
__________________ The clowns were passing, and everybody knows that inside, somewhere, their hearts are broken.
Sorry all, for late response...
Syrah, I will post something soon, hopefully...I like to be sure about every of my works, and English not being my primary language, always make things even slower...Thankfully, there is always some good people here, who are ready to help, so I'm moving on. Again, I hope something will be ready soon...
Duncan, thank you very much for your comment and for you liking this poem...I was hoping to achieve "the feel" of insomnia, and it seem to me it worked, but knowing someone else think that too, gives me an even greater satisfaction. Thank you
And, also, for all interested, "Insomnia" comic won a small award, on one small contest...it is nothing much, but I must say I'm very pleased and happy for it : D
so you should be it's amazing and so isur talent!!!Keep going maylar.
__________________
Did you know...points are up for grabs....just for entering...
250 - LIMERICK, CFPC, 55, EMWE, 1000, TotM, 1000 WC
100 - VOTING IN A CONTEST POLL, YES, JUST VOTING!
First off, I gotta say that putting that one line in the beginning was a stroke of genius. It already prepares a rough draft of the imagery to follow. You've already pulled in the reader by making him relate the poem that's to follow with something he's already experienced, and THAT is what makes people like poetry, or prose, or any other form of writing that has a lot of emotion put into it.
Quote:
Darkness, so thick
that swallows sound
Nice lines! You can so easily imagine darkness that would swallow sound.
Quote:
Make me aching
aching?
Quote:
Kill me quick,
before I scream.
Kill me fast,
so I can sleep
Very nice way to end.
Again, this poem is also really good. There were a few things that stood out because they were not really good, and that means that the poem is really good, because they only stood out when they compared unfavourably with the otherwise higher standard of the writing.
I also checked out your artwork on DA. I'm already registered there, so I'll leave some comments there.
__________________ And everybody's got a right to a will to want to live
And a right to want to die
Amazing stuff. I'm glad someone's been finding these and bringing them back to the top, and I can see how this deserved to be a Pick of the Month. Incredible, again.
You are extremely talented - a double threat, poetry and art. Nice job!
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"I wanted revenge - whenever somebody kills me, I tend to get a little upset..."
...I will certainly try 
). I can relate to this completely. 
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