The Hound and the Rider

[SimpleSpence]

4/18/07

I see him in the darkness,
I see him in the light,
The hellhound and his rider,
Torment me through the night.
They set the walls on fire,
And hide beneath my bed,
Why did I open this portal?
Now I wish that I were dead.
The hound's bark is like a banshee;
His eyes are fiery red,
Fur as black as his rider's soul,
Jagged horns upon his head.
The rider's marks are upon me,
This is worse than any possession,
Swollen handprints down my arms,
This nightmare is my depression.
The rider's horns are short,
He wears a cloak of black,
Skin stained the color of blood,
His stare as sharp as tacks.
I'll prey for me an angel,
To come take me away,
I'll end this suffering right now,
Here, right now, today.
I'm jumping off this bridge,
As the hound and rider jump at my side,
Now cast to the pits of hell,
My crime was suicide.
Now the hound and the rider,
They haunt me day by day,
God had a way out for me,
Too bad I never believed in him anyway.

[angel]

this is a good piece spence. excellent read. good 1 mate

[Lubesh]

Deathly dark..good one.

The set the walls on fire,

[SimpleSpence]

Thanks for the second glance, Lu! I swear I don't see why I never catch these things... lol

[Alex]

This is a really good poem, the message behind it being even better. The title was what stuck out for me, (I'm a bit of a title freak, I like good titles.)
He tried to escape the rider and his hound by killing himself and yet, now he must deal with them everyday because he sinned by killing himself and failed to take God up on his offer.

Really liked this, good job.

[Tay M.]

Really liked the content of it, really did, but it was hard to read in my opinion, the short lines made it kind of trippy, i want to say, but I think that could be fixed with putting every two lines into one? Maybe, I'm not sure. Maybe it's because it's getting late here, couldn't say. However I still liked the poem, very much actually, the repetition worked for you very nicely also. Great stuff.

[Alex]

Well, maybe it's more of the fact that all the lines look about the same length and there aren't any spaces between the stanzas. Though adding two lines together in some places would probably make it sound a little better depending on the line.