Click, click, click, click
Go the windmills and chimes in my head
Swirling hands of torture spin wildly and I dread
Will you love me forever?
Tomorrow we may be dead
Still they churn forever
Demanding, answers fed
With no direction given
They wind like time instead
Click, click, click, click
Now the winds and the sway of the trees
Are asking quite nicely, pretty, pretty please
Will you love her forever?
They get down on their knees
Will it take forever?
Bronzed, autumn, blustery leaves
Ignored and with derision
Drop like flies and are tread
They are mulched and they join
My irreparable soul,
Lovers laugh and walk upon
My love, coloured orange bronze
You laid me here forever
The winds won’t sweep me away
Will you take forever?
Before winter buries me this way?
Click, click, click, click
Go the wheels and the cars in the street
I want to hold you
But, death is at my feet
I have loved you forever,
Make my life complete
Will it take forever?
To sweep me off my feet?
I am the leaf with the sigh as you brush by
I am the one who will never, ever, ever die
Take me now forever
Or have me swept away
Play no more with feelings
Let me have my say
But, click, click, click, click
Go the hands on the watch on your wrist
They seem to tell you
That life is so incomplete
You will always love her forever
But time is passing by
Take this time for living
Take time to say goodbye
Tick, tick, tick, tick
Go the hands as they pass you on by
Take no more second glances
Let her be this way
Make your next appointment
Do battle then assuage
Make her think you love her…
Click, click, click, click
Go the sounds from my bottle of pills
Will you love me forever?
Or am I lost with these ills
Would you have even saved me?
Had time been on your side
Could you love me forever?
With arms open wide
Churning with desperation
Because now you cannot find
Me.
__________________
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WOAH! Woah! that is freaking amazing! Oh man i love it, that is my favourite from you by far. The repetition of click, click, click... worked wonders and the flow was so perfect that it shouldnt be allowed! that was great anita!
__________________
The world looks left...I look right
The rhymes (internal and otherwise) were just so brilliant! Add to that the striking repetitions of "Click, click, click, click".... the poem felt like the flow of the pendulum of one of those big old grandfather clocks... flowing gracely from one side to the other, rhyming in grandeur...
__________________ And everybody's got a right to a will to want to live
And a right to want to die
Jesus, this one is just... perfect. Truly, I echo the responses above when it say it blew me away. Actually, should ask you about this (content wise) but I will save that for another time. I think my favorite part was when you threw in the pills, from beginning to end, from youth to dying... just gah... stoppit show off! Haha, but really a favorite of mine as well, and not just from you but of all poetry I have crossed.
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"Money doesn't talk, it swears." -Bob Dylan
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." -Alice Walker
"I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it." -Bob Thaves
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wordsmyth
See I'm not worried at all. Bri would save the alcohol and her wolfman in the process.
This is what perfection is all about. The repetition, the rhyme, the form, it was all perfect.
Quote:
Click, click, click, click
Go the sounds from my bottle of pills
Will you love me forever?
Or am I lost with these ills
Would you have even saved me?
Had time been on your side
Could you love me forever?
With arms open wide
Churning with desperation
Because now you cannot find
Me.
The last stanza was amazing. You have a killer last line here. The lone 'Me' did it for me.
This one was absolutely amazing. It had a rhythm to it that was very easy to get into. And it had just the right amount of rhyme where it wasn't sing-songy but you still feel it.
And the content - well, I haven't fathomed it all yet, but there's a lot there. You've painted a very rich and interesting picture. Excellent!
__________________ "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." ~ Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy
"Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." ~ Basil King
Well it’s unanimous and everyone agrees the poem is marvelous. I too add my name to that long list of admirers. You remain the undisputed poetic writer of brilliant writes.
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If you'd like to express Yourself ...please call 1-800-WHATEVER (lol)
A very well written poem indeed, and a clever ending to-boot! I don't usually make a point of reading poems in the 'Depression and Despair' section, simply because I'm depressed enough as it is. But I'm glad I caught this one for sure.....
pretty pretty amazing! if there's one thing that i do look forward to read whenever i drop by this site, it's your poems - honest! u have such huge huge talent in writing and i just love love reading them. u have a way of keeping your readers crave for more and they just keep getting better. cheers!
__________________ Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.
- Sir J. Lubbock -
I echo the thoughts of others...absolutely fantastic
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Time; an elusive element to a creative mind. For the story burns to be expressed, flooding the mind, seeking an outlet. Red brimmed eyes and dark circles fore-tells a deeper story, echoed in a mirrors reflection. - my story.
The configuration, form, and pattern of this poem is flawless to me. This poem is unquestionable genuine and gratifying to see how wonderful you talents for poetry really are endless. Keep up the great works.
Haha, but really a favorite of mine as well, and not just from you but of all poetry I have crossed.
Re: Click, Click.
Linear Mode
