[Venomous Vixen]

Time wounds all heals
Like a bottle shattering from the inside out
Its secret notes scrawled upon the shore
As the words disappear
Time eludes its captor

And wounds but seep and burn
Seared into the flesh of what was
And is again, festering
They blister, spreading
Upon the ocean once pure

Pieces lay broken in the tide
As the undertow sweeps out the moments
Relived again and again
Capped back in the bottle
As time heals all wounds

[Vorcla]

Ah. Full circle. It's a lot like watching a film in reverse - starts out bad and ends up good. Very nice, hun. Excellent as always.

[Corneac]

Time wounds all heals
Like a bottle shattering from the inside out
Its secret notes scrawled upon the shore

I love this image. Reminds me of being a little kid, I used to wanna pretend I was a pirate, and wedge childishly scrawled maps into bottles and let the tide wash them away. There's so much here...so much that could be done with this image. I love that, "like a bottle shattering from the inside out"...just beautiful. Confusing...and the "time heals out wounds"...I love how your start out with an ambiguous, almost meaningless cliche and manage to turn it into something so beautiful and original. Through metaphor and your language...it's just beautiful. Amazing. Shows what a good poet you are, you manage to carve a refreshing niche out of something seeminly nicheless. Poets are those say something left unsaid, that you never know could or needed to be said.

As the words disappear
Time eludes its captor

Again, with so little words you manage to maintain the "feel" of the sea...washing away the words, the breezy feel of it, with "eludes". Mizing metaphors and images so wonderfully.

Pieces lay broken in the tide
As the undertow sweeps out the moments
Relived again and again
Capped back in the bottle
As time heals all wounds

And wounds but seep and burn
Seared into the flesh of what was
And is again, festering
They blister, spreading
Upon the ocean once pure

Returning to the metaphor of the sea, but wodnering off a bit, seemless almsot. I loved the interrymes of "festering" and "spreading. Repeating the idea in a synonym with similiar sounds. Your flow, almost liek tidea...I dunno...has an ocean feel about it.

Pieces lay broken in the tide

Beautiful. Returning to the image...of the "broken" inside out...and the wideness and breathlessness of the sea. So because life is broad and boundless, mcuh like the sea, it heals all wounds. Wow, so perfectly put here like a wound, or blood, eventually diluted by endlessness of the ocean. Where do these ideas come from m'dear? Are marvelous. So damn jealous.

As the undertow sweeps out the moments

Loved that..."undertow"...the layers of waves...and tide...so damn smart. Beautiful, keeps with the theme, perfectly. And shows off your excellence with word choice...how you can underpin an entire feeling or peom or theme with one word. Marvelous.

Relived again and again
Capped back in the bottle
As time heals all wounds

Nice warpa up! Circular as Vorc aid, but more so, boundless..."capped" loved that. Like, the wounds have been poured into the sea, the pain diluted, na dnow there capped bck up...healed.

I loved this. No more pouting munster.

[Venomous Vixen]

Rick - like a country song in reverse?

Chris - Thank you so much, means the world.

[Vail]

What's depressing about this one, is I had a lengthy review written out already, only I wasn't done so I just left my computer.. and then my firefox crapped out on me.. bam.. review gone. So I am going to start it over.. lol.

As I said before, the secret notes kinda threw me offguard.. I was thinking musical notes, not letters. I like the line about the bottle shattering inside out. Seems fairly original, and as I can't really imagine how that would happen, it makes it even better to me because it's abstract. Nice play on words with that line.

Not a fan of the ending, as it seems so cliche, and you my dear are anything but. Your starting line however very uncliche.. You took a phrase and turned it on itself.. much like your bottle. I liked that a lot. Umm.. again another technically sound poem, your syllable count seemed off in some spots, but it didn't affect your meter at all, so, again, nothing wrong with the poem. Good stuff inside. Thanks for sharing.

[Venomous Vixen]

Hmmm, maybe I should change the ending to the way I had it originally... with the beginning line as the last as well, instead of flipped. I will think it over, thanks for reading hun Always makes me smile!

[tombot5000]

Very nice imagery. I agree with the "full circle" idea. That's a tricky one to pull off, but you managed to do it pretty well!

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you very much!

[RENA HANDS]

…Like a bottle shattering from the inside out
Its secret notes scrawled upon the shore
As the words disappear
Time eludes its captor

What about saying…

As the words dissolve (wash away or something more elegant than I can suggest?)

Another Fabulous poem; the imagery, the dreary emotions, the loss of time ending finally with a possibility of hope. I could be way off with the ‘hope,’ but Marvelously concluded regardless. I award this treasure of poetic beauty, 5/5!

[Venomous Vixen]

I like that suggestion, I will think it over. Thank you very much!! You are one Rockin' reviewer!

[in_absentia]

I really enjoyed this poem. The rhythm, the flow of ideas and the simple but fascinating images all fit together brilliantly. I really loved how you start off with a cliche phrase that's twisted simply but it grabbed my attention so quickly. I really only have one suggestion at the moment and it's this:


As the words disappear
Time eludes its captor<--- this line sticks out to me because of its change in rhythm and to keep it more inline with the rest of the piece I think I would change it to be so it would be

The words disappear while
Time eludes its captor

But that is the only complaint I have

[Venomous Vixen]

I will have to look at that one, and great to see you back hun! Thanks for the review

[PaulJJ]

Nice. I really liked this. The first stanza was my favourite.

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you Paul.