[Lubesh]

Watching, but never sleeping
Fading but holding on
Shrinking but timidly keeping
A hold of the light
From which these fears dance upon
Moths to aflame
Stilled all but once
Then skilled as is their game
They waken in me a chance
But bite at that and take it away again
I douse the light
And curl up tight…

Night terrors
A nightly snake
Devoid of soil under foot
But slithering on my belly awake
Night sweats
A chilled cocktail
Reminiscent of heady days
But a lethal poison passing through my veins
Night blooming
I watch the night
Empty of the clarity
Where is my moon tonight?
She turns her face away from my night vision
Night blind
Overturned night table
Helpless and fractured, its contents strewn
The mirror echoes my nighttime room
Nighthawk
A cry of hunger
A screech of prey
Swoops and takes his night shift meal
Night robes
Left unclean
Watched by nights lights sky
Night scope
Night’s hope
Night’s stick
Beats
Night vision
Depletes
Night watch
Reseats, my
Night terrors

[Vail]

Damn Lu... I love that you kinda have a prologue to this poem in your first stanza. Snuffing out the candle.. and taking you into the night. Your repetition of the word 'night' is spot on. At first I was like, she's using night too much, but obviously that was erased when I read through the whole poem. I don't like how you transition with your rhyming.. but that's me and I'm a rhyme nay-sayer... it gave the poem a weird flow... it still works, and is still well written, just the "elitist" in my can't agree with it all the time. My favorite part for sure was about the chilled cocktail and the ensuing lines that dealt with that. Genius for sure. Calling it poison.. again, hitting the mark.

Umm the only "errors" I could find were in the first stanza; Fourth line, a hold should be ahold, and your sixth line, either that is a very unique play on words or it's misspelled. If you meant like the old adage, Moth's to a flame, it'd be like that, but if you meant like a newer, darker twist on it.. you're fine there. I like the idea that it is darker.. so hopefully that's what you meant.

Anyhow... I can't believe no one has reviewed this yet... Meh, oh well. Not gonna bog this down with politics, as much as I wanted to. Anyhow, good stuff Lu, not your best, but you could care less about that anyhow. Glad to see you still posting in depression and despair. Thanks for sharing.

[Lubesh]

Thank you very much for that....always a miss, ur indepth stuff. Thanks for he catches and I went with to aflame....i ty it on alwasy lol and as u say don't give a monkey's.

I think a hold isn't it?? to hold soemthing i have a hold of ur hand etc a hold on the dynamics.....a hold ..its took ahold ...a hold...well you have lol We can wait for further critique lol

[Vorcla]

The word that comes to mind is "haunting." Very nice, and damned fine.

By the way - coming from a humble college English instructor - "a hold" is fine the context you're using it here. "Ahold" is ungrammatical. I think folks want to say "Grab ahold of this," and it should be, "Grab hold of this." No "a" involved.

Nice work.

[Lubesh]

Was awaiting you.lol Thank you very much....had my head gone but, Vail's a nipper lol lovely tho' he is. And u cleared that up...i do use that....grab a hold.starnge lol but then i am.