[Lubesh]

I was sick today,
And all this came up,
Vomit is good for the soul
Let it out, the
death of a life but for a day,
it’s willing dismay,
God help me to stay sane,
But wane, bend a little, chill, spill
unwind, find time to say its ok
Or,
Fuck it!
Don’t breathe.
Grieve some more, for tomorrow
morning and death’s mourning
of what more is in store,
or more so why?
A cry for today, sighing go away,
help yourself to sway, dance
and by chance, wend a little,
fill, till later when you can find
breath to say it’s ok
Or,
Fuck it!
Keep it in.
Puke this sorrow,
make it colourful not hollow.
Nice things, petty things, good thoughts
rotten thoughts, screw them all - more thoughts
spewed in life’s yawning
Of ‘wait, it’s a new day and more,’
Well, fuck you again and when
and promises galore or gore and new sores
over a heart’s open pores,
seeping, draining, running away till
you heal and can say it’s ok
Or, just say,
Fuck it!

[Peppy]

To be honest, I'm a little scared to comment because this seems to be filled with frustration, maybe some venting involved. I'm not sure if this poem is about stages of loss. I can't be too sure.

I hope you're all right.

Yeah, the poem is good. A little too far advanced than me, but I liked it nonetheless. Good rhyming skill and tone of voice. Hmmmmmmmmm...

unwind, find time to say its ok

[Lubesh]

Nice catch Peppy....but u get what you get that's ok..and u were right...just ranting.

[thelma&louise]

Awesome. I really liked this...Laced with anger and frustration right to the end. Flowed nicely, as well. Refreshing. Good work, Lubesh.

[Lubesh]

Thank you and Hi! lol

[Phonoho]

Tremendous beat flavor to this, in street language with the structure providing intensity and sharpness. Not just a pell mell rant but a controlled meltdown. Nice work.

[Lubesh]

Thank you....next step is to lose it completely lol

[Rain]

Filled with anger and frustration, emotions expressed well through poetry, and you did quite nicely with egtting your point through.(I would know..) I liked the rhyme scheme... not in a pattern exactly just all about. Like a I feel like rhyming my ass off so I think I will. Cool stuff Lu..

[Lubesh]

Hi rain...knew u would come back (altair/maud all the same to me lol). But, ty as ever glad u enjoyed it...go rhyme then!

[Gurdit]

There was some magical quality about the flow, I think. I loved how it build from a short barked expletive of frustration into bigger sentences, a rant that still managed to have some amount of sophistication, and then again, it all breaks down into that short outburst of an expletive. That was really good.

[Lubesh]

Thank you tid.

[Blink]

That flowed very nicely... and like Peppy said it was like a rant, which was cool, like a frustration write, it's like "I'm pissed so I'm gonna write something choppy and rhymey and filled with anger to release my anger " That was an amazing feeling while reading through it. Very cool stuff, Lubesh.

[Lubesh]

Thank you very much....glad u got that 'feeling' lol

[Vorcla]

Not pretty at all - but exceptionally well done. Lots of rage and frustration spewing out on the page. Sometimes a catharsis is good, like a purge or a laxative. Nice job. No make up, no blemish cover, just unvarnished true feelings. Not the most pleasant thing you've ever written, but one of the most real - if that makes any sense. I applaud you.

[Lubesh]

Ype, wasn't going for pretty. Thanks rick again. don; think I ahve abandoned ur story either. I have eyestrain so had to cut back