[Rain]

It’s hard to laugh, when you can’t even smile.
It’s hard to tell the truth when in denial.
It’s hard to run, when you can’t even walk.
It’s hard to scream, when you can’t even talk.

I’ll move forward in my state of perpetual desperation.
And I’ll confuse the things under contemplation.

I’ll seek revenge, this mayhem will continue.
Until I’m at my peace, I will see this through.

I’ll make you think back on your mistakes,
I hope you cry, while karma slaps you in the face.

I’ll kick you off your high and mighty throne.
Leave you to fend for yourself, all alone.

I will run, although I can’t even walk.
I will scream, although I can’t even talk.

[Peppy]

Pretty good, I like how you stated bullying or "fall apart’s" in the poem. That's just my perception anyway.

Wow, you continue to rhyme - while others would have just dropped the whole concept, but continue what you're doing, but it‘s all good. Why fix something that’s not broken, right?

The tone of the poem was sad and lonely, and dare I say, just a little emo?, but it doesn't draw away from the genuineness.

Originally Posted by Rain

I will run, although I can’t even walk.
I will scream, although I can’t even talk.

Jesus Christ, now that's a way to end a poem. I have to say that will be a lonely path to go on.

[jback]

Liked the overall "tone' of the poem. The rhyming actually works well and does not seem childish or take away from the meaning. I'm not a huge fan of repetition and then stopping but I really liked the overall theme.

[Rain]

Thanks guys... yeah the end was almost to show a will to not give up... to bring up the tune of the poem from the sadness of it I guess you could say. Thanks again.

[Rain]

I saw something I didn't like.. I had continue twice and it was making me angry so I made a slight change, I most likely will change it again.

[Blink]

I defintly see the hope at the end, showing a passion and a will or a strenth to carry on, never give up. It flowed pretty decently throughout which made it feel clean as I read it, and the 2 lines at a time was a good idea I think. I liked it buddy .