[Storiesmaniac]

"NO!"
She cries,
She fights,
She screams.
"No!"

But no one cares
"Shut up bitch!"
Words spat in her face.
Her pain is real.

Hands grope.
Pure body defiled.
Her life a game,
In the hands of a beast.

"No!"
"Please no!"
But her voice is fading.
Her spirit cracked.

She feels alone.
God has left her.
To suffer,
To die.

"You're worthless!"
"You deserve it"
The words ring around her.
Inside her head.

"Daddy why?"
She asks.
But he leaves.
Leaves her alone,
Moaning "No!"

[HUNNYBUNNY]

it was sad. a good write as well as a good read. it was real to me. good work. *HUGS* ~HUNNYBUNNY

[Storiesmaniac]

Thanks, i was just reading a thing about this aussie chicky who got gang raped, i felt so bad for her i wanted to feel her pain, but then i changed it a bit, still quite sad.

[Vail]

Very powerful... almost too powerful. I actually thought "Ugh..." to myself as I finished reading it. Good job getting your message out there, but.. man, graphic. Good job.

[BookWhale***]

Very strong peice, maniac. Very moving, and sad.

[BrwnEyedHoney]

That was sad but the way it was written was beautiful. Good poem.

[Storiesmaniac]

Thanks guys, your comments are greatly valued. Oh whoot i made vail shudder, snap, now i know it's a good poem.

[nightcharmer]

This is far too strong and vivid. Powerful piece you got here storiesmaniac. I like the structure of the poem. Brief yet concise. Ooh, and the voice of the characters blend in very well, adds to the mood of the whole poem. Nice work.

[BookWhale***]

Yes - even though I do not like swearing in poetry - it fits this poem...

[Storiesmaniac]

Oh sorry i dont consider bitch a swear word, but i get what you mean. Yeah i had to have something in there to show that she was treated like dirt. she was lead to believe that it was what she deserved. Bw have you read Vails work? well it's very dark and depressing so if he thinks that mine is powerfu, then im greatly honoured.

[Wordsmyth]

WHoa!!!....I mean Whoa!!!! Did I say good poem? WHoa!!!!

[Storiesmaniac]

Thank you very much.

[Dark Kitten]

BAM! thats all there is to say.

Weeeellllll.... maybe not ALL : sick, ripping and disgusting... but portrayed very well and written excellently with a wonderful example of integrating character voice. This piece should make everyone say "ugh".
~DK

[Storiesmaniac]

WHooo i've been waiting for a BAM!! for oh so very long. Thank you Dk

[Laughing Man]

Very nice job, It is a good poem with lots of imagery, infact the poem in its entirety is an image, but none the less a good effort. Keep it up

[Storiesmaniac]

Thanks laughing man, always good to get comments from you.

[DarkPower]

I read this poem a few times now. Have been reading it and checking up on the comments.

The poem leaves me silent actualy. Its not a bad poem, pretty good in fact. The simplicity and structure give it power. Makes the reader look deeper I think. This poem really brings me back in time and I have to pause just to shiver. The idea and meaning do give it a lot of umph.

[Storiesmaniac]

You know what, it means alot that you think that of my poem, as i greatly value your opinion. Thank you.

[DarkPower]

no thank you for sharing this. Your pretty good stories. and sorry for this comment but sometimes I just a tad bit furious when people write about pain they know nothing about. not that you didnt capture it but ah anyway yes its good ignore me