$9.95

[dorian hanes]

Synopsis: The amount of Apricot Brandy.

Mother pays $9.95 avoiding every day worries, stressors,

Mother pays $9.95 easing her daily muscle, joint pain,

Mother pays $9.95 forgetting the death of her parents,

Mother pays $9.95 continuing distance with her older brother,

Mother pays $9.95 reinforcing her constant isolation,

Mother pays $9.95 forgetting current unemployment status,

Mother paid $9.95 succumbing to the insistent supervisor,

Mother paid $9.95 dealing with her youngest daughter's impulsiveness,

Mother paid $9.95 coping with eldest daughter's wedding nuptials,

Mother paid $9.95 for her final fifth size Apricot Brandy bottle,

Dying alone, her daughters cared not to see her die.

© Rena Hands June 2007

[blackartifice]

Quite a different perspective you have there. To use the motif of the 9.95 apricot brandy to bring out the pressure and pain of a mother. Good one.

[Lubesh]

Quite distrubing and synical not to mention an unorthadox but refreshing way of expression good one!

[Belle86]

Very sad... very moving

[a&Ω]

Where did she get her liquor? That is a pretty good deal. I am currently paying something like $12.95 for a fifth.

Anyway, let me say that the poem seemed like it came from the heart and that really is all that matters in poetry. It didn't follow any preset path it just seemed like you were expressing the grief and didn't care about anything else. So... good. That is good.

[Vail]

Well, I really enjoyed this poem. It reminded me a lot of an old Rolling Stones song, "Mother's little helper" The only thing I didn't like, and I'm not saying it's horrible, was the last line, your ender. It just didn't seem to pack enough punch, you've got this great, depressing tirade of 9.95 going through your whole poem, and then.. I don't know, it just seemed to deflate the poem. I would consider revising, but if you don't, it's all the same. Thank you very much for sharing, this is an excellent piece of writing, my opinion of the ending doesn't change that.

[Wordsmyth]

Very moving poem here. It's amazing sometimes how writing these helps with the way we feel about things. While it never takes the feelings away, just putting it out there takes away a little of the sting.

[NLuv]

this sounds so much like my mother, its depressing
good job

[Persephone]

I was wondering how the $9.95 was coming in. It was sad

[dorian hanes]

Persephone, I would like to ‘TY’ for taking the time not only to reading my post, but too in giving your thought(s) about it. And yes, my intention was to make this submission a very emotional (sad) piece. I am also extremely jovial that my emotional goal was achieved.