[colinbaker62]

Our love,
- once as proud as
just-picked Gladstones -
became plagued by
an odour
that walked us both
to the doctor,
who handed a piece of paper to us,
the size of a lottery ticket,
with scribbles on it. And
I took it
- for years - But
our love
still smelled
like a witch's
egg. So we split
apart. And
when I called her to say
'Hi, I miss you',
she replied
'I knew you would' and
hung up.






Colin Baker 08

[pssssst]

Hi, Colin,

Just had to drop a line and say that I really appreciated the humor in this. It's very cute. Thanks.

[colinbaker62]

Originally Posted by pssssst

Hi, Colin,

Just had to drop a line and say that I really appreciated the humor in this. It's very cute. Thanks.

You're welcome....



Colin

[Hazel]

I think it's an interesting piece. To me, it wasn't so much humorous as bittersweet. It sort of points out the flaws in addressing a symptom instead of the issue. I did like way you separated the sentences, thought it added a nice touch of discord to the flow.

[colinbaker62]

Originally Posted by Hazel

I think it's an interesting piece. To me, it wasn't so much humorous as bittersweet. It sort of points out the flaws in addressing a symptom instead of the issue. I did like way you separated the sentences, thought it added a nice touch of discord to the flow.

Hi Hazel and thank you for these kind and thoughtful comments. Your interpretation is a most valid one..


Colin

[Nupur]

I agree completely with Hazel. Couldn't have put it better. Nicely done, Colin.

[in_absentia]

I found the poem to be humorous... but certainly not cute. I loved the final lines because they complement the ramblings of the rest of the poem with instant... finality. I also really liked how little bits of rhyme found their way into the poem. The accent the rhythm greatly and made the poem even more of a pleasure to read.

[colinbaker62]

Originally Posted by in_absentia

I found the poem to be humorous... but certainly not cute. I loved the final lines because they complement the ramblings of the rest of the poem with instant... finality. I also really liked how little bits of rhyme found their way into the poem. The accent the rhythm greatly and made the poem even more of a pleasure to read.

Many thanks indeed...





Colin

[Vail]

Dude, as a long time fan of yours, it was kind of refreshing to see a little different side of your writing than socio-political poetry. The entire poem is filled with ridiculous content. There are so many things in here that you explain so well in so few words. Which I've really come to expect from you anyhow. How you worded the prescription was genius... like a lottery ticket. You hit on the real outlook of this stuff, the dark, cynical outlook, that only proves to be the realistic one. I didn't really like the witch's egg part, thought maybe you could have done something different there, but meh, that's just sheer opinion.

Your ending hits like a slap to the face. Stinging, turning your cheeks red, but at the same time opening your eyes. I love it. Seriously this was awesome.. glad I decided to read it. As usual this is just littered with compliments, sorry I couldn't add any real criticism towards the piece, it was very well done. Thanks for sharing.

[colinbaker62]

Originally Posted by Vail

Dude, as a long time fan of yours, it was kind of refreshing to see a little different side of your writing than socio-political poetry. The entire poem is filled with ridiculous content. There are so many things in here that you explain so well in so few words. Which I've really come to expect from you anyhow. How you worded the prescription was genius... like a lottery ticket. You hit on the real outlook of this stuff, the dark, cynical outlook, that only proves to be the realistic one. I didn't really like the witch's egg part, thought maybe you could have done something different there, but meh, that's just sheer opinion.

Your ending hits like a slap to the face. Stinging, turning your cheeks red, but at the same time opening your eyes. I love it. Seriously this was awesome.. glad I decided to read it. As usual this is just littered with compliments, sorry I couldn't add any real criticism towards the piece, it was very well done. Thanks for sharing.

Hi Vail and thank you for these kind and thoughtful comments.

The poem is, as you suggest, a marked departure from my often socio-political stance. Indeed, it is a most personal poem that seeks to describe the present, while at one and the same time, speculating as to what the future might hold.



Colin