[Maud]

NOTE: I've gone on a little sabbatical from writing, and so I decided just for fun, I'll start posting poems I had at first decided not to post. They come from my big black book (where I keep story and poem ideas), and I am going to try and space them out not to overwhelm the site. This one is kind of recent, so its not to old and preachy, well maybe it is.

Echoes

We live in a cavern,
a world of echoes.
Sundry voices,
and desperate screams.

Turn off your television.

Put your baby to sleep,
and your computer too.

Take out the headphones,
take off that watch,
take the phone off the hook.

Get that logo off your shirt,
your shoes,
your pants,
your skin.

Cover your ears,
shut your eyes,
fold your hands,
pinch your nose,
and take a seat.

And then you’ll find
there’s nothing left
when the voices
go away.

[Lubesh]

Very half way flip but then deeply meaningful and fullthrottle - was that intentional lol I am impressed vastly maud not to be patronsiing i get stuck commenting .....the logo/skin..excellent

[Maud]

thanks lu!

[Venomous Vixen]

Take out the headphones,

Only issue with this one, "Take out" almost sounds like you are taking them out to use, perhaps another set of words would echo your meaning a bit better there, though it is obvious with the rest of the poem this just did not seem to fit.

Otherwise, very well put and a great message. Again, you invoke thought and question and you do it so so well. I loved this and I am glad you decided to come back and post it...

[Maud]

thanks ma'am, I owe you a critique, don't I?

[xtremelady]

Ah the illusions of fullness – the toys we use to distract and the obvious of it – yet still we are guilty...thought provoking – nicely done

[Maud]

thanks extremelady, I am so glad, that someone could understand that meaning. I don't know if was intelligible, its good to know that I wrote a poem people could understand. Thanks all for your comments!

[RENA HANDS]

Erringly beautiful!

Question, how does one ‘take out’ headphones? Did you mean take off or possibly shut off the headphones?

I really loved the last two stanzas!:evi l:

Cover your ears,
shut your eyes,
fold your hands,
pinch your nose,
and take a seat.

And then you’ll find
there’s nothing left
when the voices
go away.

[Maud]

I don't know if its a midwestern thing, but I have always heard "take out" and this is written colloquially, so I wrote with what I have,

[Rain]

Maud, this was very good. I have no suggestions whatsoever, really liked the concept, liked how you put it, liked nearly everything about it.