Archaic words sometimes fool the eye and leave the reader thinking they have been misused, especially if they boast alternate spellings and contexts. You didn't simply use these words for their antiquated flavor; it's what this poem is about. You have tooled these lines (dieing) to accomodate the ghosts of other, equally appropriate meanings with a validity of function not lost on me, who has been known to employ the effect as well. Very creative.
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"One of my primary objects is to form the tools so the tools themselves shall fashion the work and give to every part its just proportion."
Thank you again... I did make some changes as I feel that it may do, as you said, lead those who read it to feel as if they have been misused etc... I do believe the overall meaning is still intact after the edit. For those who would have understood the alternate usages, I don't see it as a loss to them either.
This one was, as it is written, a burning sensation in my soul...and it needed to be released. I try to capture the fight that there sometimes is between my passion for writing a new piece and the swimming tired thoughts of my humanity. It was very late (early) when it was born and I was indeed tired, with that "haze" clouding my mind's eye. I hope others can see that this is not a piece with too deep a meaning but just a glimpse into the process and struggle for creation of one piece.
I've read and re-read this, but keep getting hung up on the question of whether "Cross" should be " 'Cross". Otherwise, there seems to be a flow hang-up. Then again, maybe that's just in my mind's eye.
__________________ "A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting." - Henry David Thoreau
Well the form is not exact but the flow in the last line in each stanza should read:
, , _ , _ , _ , _
Stir / ring in / their nest / of phoe / nix brood
Haze / of mid / dle age / does cloud / my mood
Wear / y words / have waned / and so /oc clude
Cross / the scape / of dreams / words are / be strewed
thank you for pointing out 'Cross / Across though ...I guess the only fear I had changing it was that it may influence a reader to pronounce the apostrophie altering the syllable count inadvertantly. I think though that fear may be a bit unfounded.
I actually took it for a contraction first, before considering alternate meanings. An apostrophe in a contraction signifies the absence of a syllable or letter/s not spoken in poetic speech and thus should leave no metric footprint to the reader's ears. Although there are other adjective definitions for the word cross, in this line, whether read or spoken aloud, our minds instinctively reach for the contracted form.
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"One of my primary objects is to form the tools so the tools themselves shall fashion the work and give to every part its just proportion."
Much thanks
Re: ... Words...
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