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11-09-2008, 02:39 PM
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O
I hear the breath you take
And the life you make I am the air you breathe Invisibly I am here Here am I the whispered hush The oxygen rush You are the breath I give Living You are there Breathe a sigh and heavily You hear suddenly We are the air’s last breath Breathing We are one
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12-09-2008, 02:43 AM
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Re: O
(Hey I get to comment first...
 )Short, simple and sweet. And yet the simplicity belies something underneath. I sense there is more to this than initially meets the eye... And the inner (and outer) rhymes are subtle, barely noticeable. A pleasure to read and ponder. 
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13-09-2008, 07:03 AM
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Re: O
Nice. Cryptic and complex, but very pretty. Soft and subtle, and if you take the last lines of each stanza (that's what those things are called, right?
 ), they dovetail together very nicely. Excellent...
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13-09-2008, 07:59 AM
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Re: O
Complex is right. I read this once before but didn't really feel comfortable commenting on it. Rick pointed out the last line in each stanza and that actually helped me with it a little bit. Still, far too advanced for my feeble mind, but interesting.
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13-09-2008, 08:02 AM
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Re: O
Thank you blueguy....there r at least 3 meanings....all of which am not saying specially to you...ur old and heart and things. lol
Thanks rick....stanzas yes....but by now u ought to have got a grip....mind u, am sure Phonoho is the only one has access to that other planet that holds all this info - or else he makes it up, re the more complex side of poetry....i stick with verse lol
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13-09-2008, 08:03 AM
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Re: O
Thanks Jim. all news to me the complex and other but will grab it lol
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20-09-2008, 11:59 AM
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Re: O
Oh the complexity of concealed emotions, a MARVELOUS illustration might I add. And the potency of vocabulary, SUPERB!
My FAV and WICKEDLY so...  Quote:
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Right, I'll keep to the present but just take a glance at the past. Damn, is this poetry?
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20-09-2008, 12:08 PM
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Re: O
Thank you rena.
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