[Lubesh]

Only you San Damiano
Lady of the Rose's thorn

Only you San Damiano
Leads us far but close to home

Eternally in desperate slumber
Far from here but close to home

Do we sleep in capricious number?
Led astray but close to home

I am sympathy
Hear my cry

I am empathy
Hear my sigh

I am your guiding light
Harsh lesson caused by plight

Your heart and soul
That you stole
Stole from fate
Turned to hate

Too late our worlds collide
Before desolation did ignite

You lead yourself
Through power and wealth
Clamour for goals
Clamour for souls

Only I San Damiano
Lady of the rose's thorn

Can lead you out from hell's damnation
Far from here but close to home

[angel]

excellent piece lu i love it

[SeaN]

woah. I'm not sure where to start picking away at this one; I guess I'll start with rhyme structure;
Stunning. It meandered such that I was never sure how the next line would tie in to the former, but this was very well done. The repetitions of ideas seemed to weave with the repetition of sounds in a way that made for a beautiful flow.
As far as the topic; I'm still not sure. I've found what I could about "San Damiano". I'm still hesitant to say the poem is strictly religious though. I think it's about death. Also, I'm not sure if it was intentional or not but two words stuck out in my mind- and it took me a while to figure out why. Now I know.

'bittersweet' and 'collide'
Collision
there must be a connection... I just know it

Oh lu now you've gone and got me thinking again. It's too early for all this. I need coffee

Beautifully written. I'm going to read up a bit more on Saint Francis, and the Order of Saint Clare and see how I feel from there.

Nice one Lu!

[Lubesh]

St Francis and Calire...why?......Std amiano came to my head and it rang a large bell.pardon the nearly pun....i had an old record years back wherei heard the name..I searchd it and it was an old greek village.nothing else came up..well dictionary wise.may go look and google

[SeaN]

oh Lu I'm not old enough to own a dictionary! (that was supposed to be funny, but it's also kind of true)

Most of the stuff I found online were links to buy little religious trinkets, but one semi-educational page I found on San Damiano was here:
http://www.franciscanfriarstor.com/s...iano_cross.htm

It occurs to me now that it was presumptuous to assume these references to be religious in the first place! The repetition of 'bittersweet' and 'collide though'... I know I'm on to something

[Lubesh]

Originally Posted by NYUphamism

oh Lu I'm not old enough to own a dictionary! (that was supposed to be funny, but it's also kind of true)

Most of the stuff I found online were links to buy little religious trinkets, but one semi-educational page I found on San Damiano was here:
http://www.franciscanfriarstor.com/s...iano_cross.htm

It occurs to me now that it was presumptuous to assume these references to be religious in the first place! The repetition of 'bittersweet' and 'collide though'... I know I'm on to something

Iteresting link and bollocks..to me anyway.
yes presumptious but also not so because St.anything gives u that really.but its not howi meant it..its all tosh to me so I used St. as i pleased this 'St.' is not a St. in wordly/otherwordly terms..aplay on it and other if ulike....told u notto strain urselftoo.....but do u listen?lol

[Corneac]

Hmm. I've read this few times, but haven’t known how to reply and all my replies seem to pale in comparison to NYU, damn you dude!

The structure was quite enthralling. Intricate as the ideas in your poem and stunningly woven. Man, you're such a pro Anita. So talented. lol. The stanza almost seemed to merge into one another but still maintained their disjointed feel (as stanzas should) the repetition, I loved repetition where it can be pulled of well, where it’s not slapping you in the face, but instead use the sounds effectively to enhance the rhythm.

Now, the poem. My favourite part, by far,

I am sympathy
Hear my cry

I am empathy
Hear my sigh

Personification of emotions. Brilliant! Gave me an idea...hmm

But awesome Anita. I loved it :smile:

[Lubesh]

Originally Posted by Corneac

Hmm. I've read this few times, but haven't known how to reply and all my replies seem to pale in comparison to NYU, damn you dude!

The structure was quite enthralling. Intricate as the ideas in your poem and stunningly woven. Man, you're such a pro Anita. So talented. lol. The stanza almost seemed to merge into one another but still maintained their disjointed feel (as stanzas should) the repetition, I loved repetition where it can be pulled of well, where it's not slapping you in the face, but instead use the sounds effectively to enhance the rhythm.

Now, the poem. My favourite part, by far,



Personification of emotions. Brilliant! Gave me an idea...hmm

But awesome Anita. I loved it :smile:

That was nother awesome job u did and know it is always much appreciated. I even consider u when i am writing lol dont use this orthat...he'll pull that to pieces etc.

[Hazel]

This was beautiful. I really thought it flowed well, peaceful at first and then suddenly abrasive, making me cringe, but at exactly the right moment. Then you led back to peace again. I liked your word choice and your nonchalant rhyme. The tone of your words rolled around on my tongue and stayed consistant but relaxed, which I love. Makes me homesick, but I'm not sure for what.

[Lubesh]

That wasa lovelycontribution and thanks for that!

[colinbaker62]

A poetic delight....

[Lubesh]

Originally Posted by colinbaker62

A poetic delight....

Thank you Colin, you spoil me when u drop by. tc