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Old 09-08-2007, 03:47 AM
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Repentance

A day goes by
Nothing is said
An unrequited love,
A mutual respect.
Your heart feels,
Mine cannot
But remember always:
"I'm Sorry."

Last edited by Phonoho; 12-08-2007 at 02:14 AM.
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Old 12-08-2007, 02:54 AM
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Re: Repentance

The emotions expressed here, or the lack thereof, are clearly and completely stated, though a bit too plainly for its breif length. In my view, short pieces like this need something more than brevity to make them stand out. Perhaps you could focus more on the irony of not feeling love, yet caring enough to apologize for its absence.
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