[Venus]

I am standing
on the very tips of my toes-
the only thing breaking the surface
of this ocean is my nose.

I am desperately trying
to stand firm on this ground,
to keep from being swept
off this sandy mound.

But while my arms
splash and reach,
I have lost my hold,
I'm floating off this beach.

It's the same with you-
just to let you know.
I keep trying to hold on,
but it seems I must go.

I've fought and swung wildly,
trying to find anchor in you.
But like all this water,
you just slip right through.

Looks like the best end to
this fight, is to abdicate.
Seems that in drowning
lies my only escape.

[Corneac]

Ah...finally...another Venus poem. Y'know I love you poetry, your adept use of metaphors your chillingly honest emotion words...gah...it great. Very personal and always moving...haha. A bit like Ani...lol.

I am standing
on the very tips of my toes-
the only thing breaking the surface
of this ocean is my nose.

Great image there Steph, and such a quick faultless rhythm. I loved it., What else can i say? Hmm...just, damn, I'd wish you'd write more. Haha.

[Venus]

Wow Chris. Thanks so much, that really means alot coming from you.

[Venomous Vixen]

How did I miss this one this morning? It is beautiful...

I've fought and swung wildly,
trying to find anchor in you.
But like all this water,
you just slip right through.

I love how you tie the two paralleling concept together in this stanza with the use of the anchor... brilliantly done.

I have to agree with Corneac, write more woman!

[RENA HANDS]

The flow of this submission is respectable. The experience of falling in love, to lose love to drowning is most reasonable.

I think "an" should be inserted here...

I've fought and swung wildly,
trying to find an anchor in you.

The insertion of "an" may throw off the number count of the syllables if you were keeping track, but it makes for a full sentence.


I've fought and swung wildly,
trying to find an anchor in you.