[Wordsmyth]

My life since you have left, has no meaning.
You’ve made my aching soul utterly bereft.
I spend all my waking hours here demeaning,
My life – since you have left.

Every day when I see you, something dies.
You’ve gone, and left my life askew.
I cannot keep the tears from my eyes,
Every day - when I see you.

Each time that you touch me, to you means naught.
But inside I scream out with agony.
Remembering pleasure it once brought,
Each time that you touch me.

Each day, once more I die deep inside.
To not love you, would be to live a lie.
I’m drowning and cannot hold back the tide,
Each day – once more I die.

[Ryankia]

Why so much depressing poetry lately Words? Very emotional piece, my only suggestion would be to reread it for possible missing commas, but that is all.

Beautifully depressing piece.

[Wordsmyth]

Yeah I know, but they keep flooding in my head. I'm just gad I'm finally writing something. It had been a while for me.

[Ryankia]

I can relate in it being awhile. I had a year of writer's block. It sucked.

[SeaN]

wow... Wordsmyth I didn't see how complex the form actually was until reading this one- very nicely done (honestly better than the example you provided in the link I think). This is quite a feat- I'm looking forward to seeing what the cfpc will crank out this round.

There's a real power to how the meaning changes slightly between the refrain in lines 1 and 4. Then the form almost requires an author to 'backtrack' to meet the abab requirement. Well done. As Dragoness mentioned, lots of emotion and great descriptions as well.

[Wordsmyth]

Thanks Sean! High praise. I appreciate that.

I looked at it and said, yea I can do that! Then when I started it it was like, whoa this is harder thatn I thought.

I look forward to seeing some others.

[Nupur]

This is really emotional. A complex form indeed. Your first and second lines look very good together, as do your your third and fourth. The transition is amazing. It doesn't look like you're just trying to put a refrain in order to stay true to the form. Amazing work!

[RENA HANDS]

Bravo. I am once again on my feet applauding.

To not love you, would be to live a lie.

That’s bloody brilliant, so the English would say.

My rating 5/5!

[Maylar]

The choice of words in this one especially suits me, but there is much more in this poem that I find worth reading. It has real emotion, it shows the cuts and bruises of a real pain, pain which reader can sense, while reading.
On the other hand, as I said, language used is by my taste...rough on some, smooth on other parts.
It is stupid to say I enjoyed it, but I did enjoy reading it. Very, very good.

[Theboss1985]

That is one of the best poems i've ever read... wow I don't really know what else to say but wow.

I want to read more like this. Keep it up

[Wordsmyth]

Thank you both very much!! That is greatly appreciated.

[Corneac]

What form is this? As usual you pulled it off in a kickass manner, well not reall kickas, more heartbreaking and hauntingly beautiful. Yeah, I think Maylar was right when he aid you cut staright to the wound, and the reader deifnitely felt that. Effective Word. But serious mate, you need to write some more happy poems. Happy!

Nah, a they say, heartbreak, is the poet's best friend. Impressive form and great job. I love your poetry.