[Wordsmyth]

You broke my heart, destroyed my soul
That part of me will never be whole
But the minutes spent with you are few
So everyday I lie to you

Each time I see you, I force a smile
But inside I’m empty all the while
My disguise, I can’t let you see through
That’s why everyday I lie to you

I tell you that I understand
The reasons why, you let go of my hand
I make myself happy, in your view
When everyday I lie to you

I tell you, my love for you has passed
And that I’m finally happy at last
But neither of these can be attested to
Since everyday I lie to you

I explain how I’ve moved on
That the things I felt are dead and gone
Don’t worry about me, I will get through
But everyday I lie to you

There will be a day that I’ll let go
I’ll find someone else to love, I know
See, even to myself I can’t be true
And still everyday I lie to you

[Gurdit]

Very nicely written.
I liked that they're so heart-felt, and the simplicity adds to the intensity.
The repetition was done to perfection. Not overdone at all, in my opinion.

You know, I can't help thinking... these just might make really good lyrics.

[Wordsmyth]

Thanks Tid! This is actual style this is written in is Kyrielle. WHen you rhyme aa bB cc bB etc.. it's considered to be in hymn form, so I guess technically these are lyrics.

I love this style because it is so simple to use!!!

[Ryankia]

I am so glad to see you back and active-ish again Mike! I love your pieces and the emotion you pour into them. <3

[Venomous Vixen]

Ah another heartbreaking one, and again very relatable subject matter. The only thing that popped out at me was

The reasons why, you let go my hand

Feels like it needs the "of" before my hand, if you are trying to hold to a syllable count what about removing "The" from the beginning of the line?

I think you are racking up the hugs from me, cause I want to give you another. Beautiful piece

[Wordsmyth]

Thank you both again!!!

Bri, I added the of in there. It does sound better! thanks!

Ahhh....hugs. I'm felling better already.

[Syrah]

Yes I remember this one~ The flow is excellent. Kryielle well done.

[Nupur]

This is really beautiful. So heartfelt and simple. It flows very well. I love it!

[Theboss1985]

The last part of the poem with the "see, even to myself I can't be true" is amazing writing.

I personally would love to see another part added where the guy/girl in question see's his lover with someone else and she/he is happier then they ever were with them.

But as it stands now its great

[Wordsmyth]

Originally Posted by Theboss1985

The last part of the poem with the "see, even to myself I can't be true" is amazing writing.

I personally would love to see another part added where the guy/girl in question see's his lover with someone else and she/he is happier then they ever were with them.

But as it stands now its great

Believe me I'd like to see that too. Thank you again!

[katofmystery]

wow this piece was interesting. . . the title made me want to read it and your words made sure that i finished reading it. . . if that makes sense. . . i LUV this poem GREAT job. . .

[Corneac]

Great job Word. I love your poetry, it's jsut honest. Even the way you write it, I think poets (well a lot of us), almost hide emotion in metaphor or pretty it up with colorful language. Which is nice, and sometimes pretty, but it's never truthful. Like, simply outhere. I like yours, it's simple (but in a good way), as tid says it adds to the intenisty, and makes the emotion feel so much realer. If that makes sense. I think I've admonished your simplicity, in the past, but it's your style, and it suits you, and it doesn't make your poetry any less "artistic" or "beautiful"...it's actually the opposite.

Another thing which is great, is your ease with form, whcih always gives your poems a flawless flow. I'd love to see you broach youe wings to some different themes, but a poet writes what poet feels. Beautiful - and left me feeling a bit empty...awesome.

[shatteredsight]

very well written, intense.

the second lines in the stanzas drag a lil at times, but other than that great work!