[Lubesh]

A scribbled note,
Get it down,
Holding fast,
To terra’s ground.
A hopeful plea,
A weathered look,
I snatch the hope,
From my notebook.
A crumpled dream,
Erased in doubt,
But still there,
The lines I shout.
A burned out stare,
Watered down,
My tears of fair,
I scribble on my sleeve,
A heart laid bare.

The pages ignite,
I burn my bridges,
And my notebook

[RENA HANDS]

I scratch the hope
From my notebook…

Applause! Applause! Applause!

The rhythm or rhyme, Splendid. The imagery as always, Fantastic! I reverentially (my new word for the day…lol) give 5/5!

[Lubesh]

Thanks again...words ay, who needs them?

[Rain]

"I can still see the lines I shout"

That line kinda hit me in the face, just ending flow for me. But other than that little bit it was terrific, the short lines really worked for you here, I could just read it fast and not really stop, which is a good and bad thing, maybe just very small puncuation so it is a little easier to read?

[Lubesh]

To me the shortness or statements dont need the punc. I, anyway automatically stop..aslo remember never take any notice of my methods lol Thanks altair.

That line you mention...I could say it was to wake you up..but nah ur right...will do something there. tylol

[MindsEye]

Nice use of meter.. well the change in meter in line 15 just before the break... It suspends time lending a renewed emphasis on the imagery and a deeper view into the depths of the true emotion and meaning behind this piece. Awesome work

[Lubesh]

spectacualr way to view it..shows where your heart is....thank you.

[Hurricane]

Awesome poem. It just seemed so real and I could actually picture it. ANd again nice job.

[Lubesh]

Thank you.

[Vorcla]

A rhyming poem - and well done. Nice flow all the way through. I love the abrupt ending; you burn the notebook, and that's all she wrote. Very, very effective way to wind it up. Great write.

[Lubesh]

Thank you for taking time to read my stuff.

[Vorcla]

Anytime, Anita. For all you do here, it's the least I can do.

[Lubesh]

I read that, i dont do an awful lot these days lol

[Vorcla]

That's what you think...

[Blink]

The flow was brilliant, the only part where it didn't was the ending and I think that's because there was no rhyme whatsoever, the ending was indeed awkward for me, maybe too abrupt, to an extant. Other than the ending it was great, in my opinion.

[Lubesh]

thank you and abrupt...was meant to be a jolt, something lol but thanks again for reading!

[Vorcla]

Yeah - the abrupt ending makes it sing for me - I love it.