Do I Dare?

[Lubesh]

For all I cry
Mid reason’s sigh
Mighty is the weight and depth of it all
A sun’s strokes and gentle caress isn’t enough
To ease this unrest

I pace inside my head, inside the room, inside of me.
Frivolous but genuine thoughts snake in and out,
Weaving and securing their place only to be released
By a desperate hand too bruised and as yet not ready
To secure their foothold and let them set to work

Though I ask why
A tremor of an answer is never nigh
Always close but too distant to fathom
Its journey’s end will not include me for a while
To ease this unrest

And I dare, or do I?
Board at the platform’s high
So steep the climb from ground to seat
Though enticing is the rush of the symmetry and nature’s scene
Readily there but for a few miles to greet me
To ease this unrest

[Vorcla]

Interesting structure. You start out with rhyming the first two lines of each stanza (except for the second one), then drop into free verse. It works well; it makes us focus, then we can wander a bit, and then we're pulled back again. Good word play ("...a sun's stroke''), good metaphorical language ("I pace inside my head, inside the room..."). The second stanza is a bit of a maverick; it's the only one not to end with "to ease this unrest," and not to have the rhyming in the first two lines. Gets the reader's attention. Nice work, Lu.

[Lubesh]

I tried to assert the reality amid the fanciful peotic notions either side with that verse, a harder stone or noise then back to all's calm, but still not quite right all around. nd thanks Rick, as ever.

[iwrite4areason]

Wow! This really makes the reader remain alert! I love how it still seems to flow even though the lines are jarring at times.

So steep the climb from ground to seat

I love how you phrased this line! It makes the task seem so epicly beautiful. This is just really geniusly worked Lubesh! Nice work!!!

[Lubesh]

Jarring? wassat?lol Thanks very much for reading much apprecited.