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Sad But True...
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27-10-2006, 01:15 AM
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Sad But True...
It's amazing what cards life deals
Despair, sorrow and sadness abound And happiness is the lone trump You may lose and you might win The trump will beckon but not guide You are my trump and I your clown I am your alias and your identity I am your everything, yet I mean nothing You depend on me, still you are independent You are my love and I your hate And for all that I may say or do I will always be without you Forever surrounded by you, yet alone This would be the final deal It is sad but true... I will be your happiness away from you!
__________________
Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead! 
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27-10-2006, 05:51 AM
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Re: Sad But True...
Ok, loved the metaphor here, it was a little difficult to read with the way you structured some of your lines, but I thought it was pretty good. It probably wasn't supposed to, but this line made me laugh:
Quote:
 No real rhythm to follow and was very free flow. enjoyed reading it, well written.
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27-10-2006, 05:54 AM
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Re: Sad But True...
This poem has some good feeling to it. Very nice.
__________________
"[A] spider tried to attach its [web] to a rock below.... [It tried seven times and missed].... On the eighth try, it succeeded. God seems far away [sometimes], but if we persevere, he will reward us. Just as he rewarded the spider."Robert the Bruce
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28-10-2006, 01:21 AM
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Re: Sad But True...
Thanks for the observations. I guess I take full advantage of Free-Verse
__________________
Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead!
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29-10-2006, 10:25 PM
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Re: Sad But True...
I like this one a lot. Really liked the contrasting in it, many opposites to get across your message. Very nice.
__________________
"We discover that all the poems and stories we've been posting either need commas, or don't have enough. I call her The Comma Fairy..." ~Phonoho
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01-11-2006, 11:58 PM
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Re: Sad But True...
wonderful especially the last line....I am with dunc with the trump and clown but it is growing on me. good stuff
__________________
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03-11-2006, 01:19 AM
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Re: Sad But True...
Quote:
__________________
Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead!
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03-11-2006, 08:41 PM
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Re: Sad But True...
fantastic work...i really liked it...i dont have anything more to say then that really cos it was great.
__________________
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03-01-2007, 08:17 AM
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Re: Sad But True...
I really enjoyed this poem...so well thought out...
Who says there's no rhythm?? I think it flows quite nicely. I liked the last line: I will be your happiness away from you..... Somewhat sad....
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12-01-2007, 02:11 AM
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Re: Sad But True...
Quote:
__________________
Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead!
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Re: Sad But True...
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