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Re: Body and Soul
Tim, I love the way your mind works and that I can see your pattern of thought through your poetry. This one hit home for me...
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I also really like in the third and fourth stanza's how first it is the writer doing the breaking and suddenly it is them who is beginning to stop being broken. Very nicely done, ha I could ramble on the subject for hours
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"when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
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Re: Body and Soul
Thanks Bri...
I think sometimes our body and our soul (not talking in a religious soul here) have different ideas in mind, and sometimes it would be better if we listened to the softer voice... Thanks for reading and liking it.
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Re: Body and Soul
Very nice Tim, I liked the duality. And you know how I am with poems so that's about all I got.
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Re: Body and Soul
Awesome once again Manaic!!! I loved this.
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Re: Body and Soul
Awesome!
Very powerful and um....weird imagery.... ![]() lol Good job ^_^
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He opens his eyes, a thrilling reality. Lights, trees, and endless morality. Senses hale a slumbering love, Preaching to all a life up above. Little does he know, This is forbidden darkness, Straight from Christmas cheer. |
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Re: Body and Soul
Thanks mr smythies, i appreciate it alot
Thanks sunshine, glad you enjoyed it!
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Re: Body and Soul
different again from you and it is good to see. You carried the dual tones off greatly, I thought it odd at first, but the sun made your turquoise invisiblelol.
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Re: Body and Soul
Thanks Anita, Hahah what are goig blind on me now old one?
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Re: Body and Soul
I really like this poem. It was very rough...very poetry cafe, dimmed lights...snapping and all...I do think it would have more depth if it were longer.
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Re: [PICK] Body and Soul
Damn Good Job. The body was hard, rough, and strong. Almost like your dark side coming out but you balance this poem perfectly with the soul of gentleness that was trying to resist.It was sexy in a way. Great job.
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How intense is this action to be…And I want it now. (Replace with !) ?
Body and Soul, why not make the ‘and Soul’ the light blue so to keep with color consistency? You missed (I’m) Im breaking---originally. Applaud the intensity here. I’m sorry that I didn’t get to this read before. I’m not certain if the red and blue are appropriate here, why not make all one color (seems flimsy, the blue) but that’s just me. And difficult to read also. Regardless of thoughts…Superb creation! I rate though you don’t really need it (the imagery/vocabulary) 5/5!
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Right, I'll keep to the present but just take a glance at the past. Damn, is this poetry?
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Re: [PICK] Body and Soul
The blue is light and soft and hard to read for a reason...because that voice is hard to hear...its the soft contrast to the red vibrant colour...the loud voice we always listen to.... Thank you very much rena im glad you enjoyed it.
Oh thanks for the catch also ![]()
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Re: [PICK] Body and Soul
Read this agin given that reply..and yos very good! and not spamming here.
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Re: [PICK] Body and Soul
Go Tim, I dunno when you wrote this. But I seem to have missed it. This was awesome, I loved the contrast, and it's real honest. Bri's right about being able to see your though/writing process.
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