Tim, I love the way your mind works and that I can see your pattern of thought through your poetry. This one hit home for me...
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then discard you
like a used condom
take another
break another
Brutal and perfect for the emotion you are trying to convey...
I also really like in the third and fourth stanza's how first it is the writer doing the breaking and suddenly it is them who is beginning to stop being broken.
Very nicely done, ha I could ramble on the subject for hours
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"Money doesn't talk, it swears." -Bob Dylan
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." -Alice Walker
"I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it." -Bob Thaves
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Originally Posted by Wordsmyth
See I'm not worried at all. Bri would save the alcohol and her wolfman in the process.
Thanks Bri...
I think sometimes our body and our soul (not talking in a religious soul here) have different ideas in mind, and sometimes it would be better if we listened to the softer voice...
Thanks for reading and liking it.
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The world looks left...I look right
different again from you and it is good to see. You carried the dual tones off greatly, I thought it odd at first, but the sun made your turquoise invisiblelol.
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I really like this poem. It was very rough...very poetry cafe, dimmed lights...snapping and all...I do think it would have more depth if it were longer.
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I won't rent you my time, I won't sell you my brain, I won't pray to a male god, that would be insane. And I can't support the troops, cuz every last one of them is being duped, and I will not rest a wink until the women have regrouped.
Damn Good Job. The body was hard, rough, and strong. Almost like your dark side coming out but you balance this poem perfectly with the soul of gentleness that was trying to resist.It was sexy in a way. Great job.
How intense is this action to be…And I want it now. (Replace with !) ?
Body and Soul, why not make the ‘and Soul’ the light blue so to keep with color consistency?
You missed (I’m) Im breaking---originally.
Applaud the intensity here. I’m sorry that I didn’t get to this read before. I’m not certain if the red and blue are appropriate here, why not make all one color (seems flimsy, the blue) but that’s just me. And difficult to read also. Regardless of thoughts…Superb creation! I rate though you don’t really need it (the imagery/vocabulary) 5/5!
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If you'd like to express Yourself ...please call 1-800-WHATEVER (lol)
The blue is light and soft and hard to read for a reason...because that voice is hard to hear...its the soft contrast to the red vibrant colour...the loud voice we always listen to.... Thank you very much rena im glad you enjoyed it.
Oh thanks for the catch also
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The world looks left...I look right
Go Tim, I dunno when you wrote this. But I seem to have missed it. This was awesome, I loved the contrast, and it's real honest. Bri's right about being able to see your though/writing process.
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Complete me!
Destroyed.
Great last lines, and unique cocnept and execution. Dude, you should write more poetry. Serious.
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"Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go;
And Conrad cries out - Oh! Oh! Oh!
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast;
That both his thumbs are off at last.
Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;-
"Ah!" said Mamma "I knew he'd come
To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb." - The Story of Suck-a-Thumb, Heinrich Hoffman
Re: [PICK] Body and Soul
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