MemberPanel

ourSponsors

Google
   


Notices


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 13-06-2008, 06:19 PM
'Ginnis's Avatar
Bad Moon Rising
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,068
Total Points: 27,057.55
'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member
Pretty Ugly

I want a dress that screams, “Fuck me.”
With shoes that tease, “You can’t.”
A leather jacket that clings in all the right places and keeps me warmer than any man could.

I want those eyes to follow me from across the bar,
Someone to offer to buy me a drink so that I can refuse with a harlot’s grin,
And it wouldn’t hurt if a couple women with gossipy whispers called me a slut.

But what I want most of all,
Is for that one individual to grab me by the hand,
Fingers laced,
To drag me outside,
Pin me against the wall,
And with a knowing grin,
Say,
“You were prettier when you thought yourself ugly.”
__________________
It's all just tinsel. Under the spotlights, everything sparkles.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 13-06-2008, 06:34 PM
Gurdit's Avatar
Humour is Funneh!
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: India
Posts: 1,383
Total Points: 110,255.77
Gurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary memberGurdit is an Honorary member
Send a message via MSN to Gurdit Send a message via Yahoo to Gurdit
Re: Pretty Ugly

Quote:
A leather jacket that clings in all the right places and keeps me warmer than any man could.
That's a great line. Has a wonderfully musical quality to it.

I liked the poem, as I said on MSN. No detailed review... not in the mood for it, but it's good.
__________________
If you don't let me know that you've read my comment, I will probably stop commenting on your writing.

Smile, and have a good day.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 14-06-2008, 11:37 PM
Vorcla's Avatar
Bri's Dark Angel
Photobucket
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,754
Total Points: 174,570.78
Vorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary member
Send a message via MSN to Vorcla
Re: Pretty Ugly

Wow. Oh, I love the title! Heavy duty emotional theme here; probably a lot of people feel this way. It's normal to have insecurities. Your descriptions are spot on and wickedly (yet sadly) funny - kind of a smiling through your tears feel. I love the tone - haughty, almost arrogant, "I don't need anybody" tone at first, but then the truth comes out - "Please tell me I'm fine the way I am." You have a way of putting a lump in ol' Vorc's throat (I know - sap! ). You should write more poetry (but don't stop doing prose because you're KILLER at it!). I like this a lot, Kara.
__________________


...a sucker for beautiful, soulful eyes

Last edited by Vorcla; 15-06-2008 at 07:21 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 16-07-2008, 04:17 AM
Lubesh's Avatar
Big Boss
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne UK
Posts: 6,260
Total Points: 39,096.46
Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!Lubesh is so hot right now!
Send a message via AIM to Lubesh Send a message via Yahoo to Lubesh
Re: Pretty Ugly

I love this one ..raw ideas and brash letting rip. Anyway, bloody epic!
__________________
Did you know...points are up for grabs....just for entering...

250 - LIMERICK, CFPC, 55, EMWE,
1000 - TotM, 1000 WC
100 - VOTING IN A CONTEST POLL, YES, JUST VOTING!

Comp/Challenges

FFFC
CFPC
1000-Word Challenge
Limerick
ToTM
EMWE
GQC
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2008, 07:59 PM
Peppy's Avatar
No strings attached...
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ontario, Cdn
Posts: 911
Total Points: 6,319.25
Peppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary memberPeppy is an Honorary member
Send a message via Yahoo to Peppy
Re: Pretty Ugly

Haha, the title is clever. Pretty Ugly. Humourous. Cough.

Anyways, there's a strong voice in the poem. It was dark, witty, sad, and bittersweet at the same time, all molded into one. It has a good balance of all the four things I felt. The piece sounds good because it says what it needs to say, nothing held back.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2008, 09:28 AM
'Ginnis's Avatar
Bad Moon Rising
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,068
Total Points: 27,057.55
'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member'Ginnis is an Honorary member
Re: Pretty Ugly

Yeah yeah, so the title sucks...

Thanks for the thoughts guys.
__________________
It's all just tinsel. Under the spotlights, everything sparkles.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2008, 10:13 AM
Vorcla's Avatar
Bri's Dark Angel
Photobucket
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,754
Total Points: 174,570.78
Vorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary memberVorcla is an Honorary member
Send a message via MSN to Vorcla
Re: Pretty Ugly

Quote:
Originally Posted by 'Ginnis View Post
Yeah yeah, so the title sucks...
Uhm, I think the title's perfect for what you're saying...
__________________


...a sucker for beautiful, soulful eyes
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2008, 12:09 PM
Rain's Avatar
PicturePerfectBottledRage
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 866
Total Points: 8,992.56
Rain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary member
Send a message via AIM to Rain Send a message via Yahoo to Rain
Re: Pretty Ugly

That was awesome, I saw your prose side coming out a few times but that was nice to see in poetry. You got your point through, and overall it was real good. Why don't you write poetry more? Or if you do why haven't I seen it? Awesome stuff Kara.

-Tay
__________________
In the face of change,
That's when she turned to me and said,
"I'm not sure anymore..."

Everchanging...
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
None



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT +9. The time now is 01:01 PM. vBulletin Skin by ForumMonkeys. Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.1.0 ©2007, Crawlability, Inc.
Advertisement System V2.1 By   Branden
Copyright © 1999 - 2008, StoriesMania.Net


Love Systems | The Attraction Forums | Savoy

Loans | Vacation Spots | Business Credit Cards | Debt Consolidation | Credit Cards