[PaulJJ]

Taken with the cold water's flow,

crushed, distorted into something we are not,

removed from the natural warmth of life,

only to be crushed once more,

our feelings have not altered;

stirred deeper into the nadir of pain.

Ignored, the engravings can’t be seen,

it means we aren’t looking.

Wishing for a better life,

we don’t seize what we have,

water turns from dark brown to ice blue.

Lifeless, this was not unaided,

Dried up; chilled to the mud,

I try to look up, we must see the stars,

but I can never unearth myself.

River of our lives,

What have we done?

[Lubesh]

The use of both water and earth. Bogged down we get if not smothered. Your metpahor was nciely done and the urges tho we dont to reach, look up but we dont and become drowned or sucked under. I enjoyed this a lot.

[Peppy]

My, my, I thought this was a thoughtful entry. This truly belongs in the Human Nature section. I guess being "crushed" and where we don't want to be is the whole reason to look at life in a bleak way. Anywho, I'm mumbling now. Bye bye.

I can relate to this:

...removed from the natural warmth of life,

only to be crushed once more,

our feelings have not altered...

[Vorcla]

Nicely done. I like the way you blended in the elements as metaphors. Liked it - much.