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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 14-08-2008, 03:44 AM
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Stressed Tears

Beads of sweat form pearls of wisdom
as they drop down tenuously,
A fragile honesty holds them fast,
Till onto a temporarily smoothed path,
That the folds make bold,
Till the cracks take hold,
As the dawning of a realisation
of ages gone,
drains from a life devoid
of pleasure, joy and happiness
and is replaced by
order but with much chaos,
satisfaction and contempt contentment.
Fine lines and boundaries
that deepened over time,
the ravines to which water flowed
from more uncertain lines,
now pours the hope - it dwindles away
any future, exasperated in perspiration
all too late, and full to the brim
those lines relax and for the first time,
release their creased and moulded cries.
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Old 20-08-2008, 12:07 AM
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Re: Stressed Tears

I like the paradoxes - smooth and cracked; order and chaos; satisfaction and contempt contentment. The juxtaposition of the contradictory images keeps the reader on his/her toes, makes you pay attention. Your words, your thoughts, the way you weave them together, always amazes me. You never disappoint.
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Old 20-08-2008, 12:15 AM
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Re: Stressed Tears

Wow, thank you very much. I did that ay?lol
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Old 20-08-2008, 03:52 AM
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Re: Stressed Tears

Not just everyday poem, this one surely kept my attention, and every line made me think about it, before I would go to the next...I just love the written work (of any kind) that makes a reader do that.
Lubesh, as always, great work
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Old 20-08-2008, 06:26 AM
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Re: Stressed Tears

Thank you and welcome back!
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Old 07-09-2008, 06:27 AM
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Re: Stressed Tears

As Rick said the paradoxes are amazing... and I like the way you seem to have your own signature stanza pattern or single pattern, very choppy, SOMETIMES difficult to read but other times very smoothly...

Nice stuff again and as always Lu.
Tay
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Old 07-09-2008, 06:30 AM
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Re: Stressed Tears

Ty rain....i aim to please and be unique, but above all be the bigest bugger going.lol
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