[Phonoho]

Invocation of Shadows

Who evoketh his shadow

as proof of the sun

will cast his eyes to the ground,

the very sky to shun,

trusting his mind to passion,

invoking His Son

at reason’s expense, there he'll lie,

as if proof he were one.

[Rain]

I absolutely love the fact that you used "sun" and then "Son", definitly caught my eye with that. I enjoy the fact that you can take simple rhymes and turn it into a masterpiece. I have nothing to show you except my praise for this one, fantastic as always.

[RENA HANDS]

BRAVO, especially this line…Who evoketh his shadow

Just a SPECTACULAR write! What inspired it, if I may ask?

I can with my limited vocabulary, give a rating of 5/5!

[Phonoho]

Thank you, I appreciate the rating and the kind words, but it feels a bit unfinish to me. Maybe a slight change in punctuation would do the trick to better shift its nuance. Spawned from the left-over energy charged by the recent closed form challenge, the germ of an idea materializes, but seems only to produce..... shadows.

[Vorcla]

Well, I like this. A lot. I feel like an archaeologist who just broke into an ancient cobwebbed tomb, found this moldering tome on a shelf, blew off the dust and read this. Very elegant, heavy language. Since I don't know nuthin' 'bout poetry, I can't comment on the intricacies of the rhythm, meter, etc.

Just that I like it. A lot.

[Phonoho]

Originally Posted by Vorcla

Since I don't know nuthin' 'bout poetry,

So often you preffix your poetry comments with disclaimers of poetic knowledge or skill. Writing poetry is not so far removed from writing music; our words are the notes and our voices the instrument. As a musician, surely you can play more than one.

I'm glad you like, but I'm not completely happy with this. I think it started off strong but its subject of defective logic needs to be developed more. Another stanza perhaps.