[Wordsmyth]

**** I was challenged by Nupur in the GQC but had already posted an entry, so here is my response to her challenge: ....and my whiskey bottle broke. ******


I tripped; fell and my whiskey bottle broke.
I could tell this was going to be a bad day.
Decided I’d just roll a little smoke,
But it doesn’t make me feel the same way.

I went to the cabinet to see what I could find.
And there was my old buddy Jose.
Not too long ago, he treated me unkind,
So, no fiesta for me today.

I moved him aside and looked a little more,
And it was the Captain I saw.
Hey a frou-frou drink with fruit juices galore.
But alas no umbrella or straw.

Next thing I saw was some Tanqueray,
A gin martini, shaken not stirred.
But I have no olives and dirty’s the only way,
I could drink those till my vision was blurred.

But finally there in a dark corner I found,
Something hiding right there in the back.
Then I yelled out with a joyful sound,
And grabbed the dusty bottle of my best friend Jack!

[Nupur]

HAHAHA! Awesome! Oh, I love this one! Expertly done. Love your form and rhymes and everything else about this one. The flow is perfect, as I'd expect from all your poems. Terrific, Mike, this is simply awesome!

[Zoidberg]

lol. Nice One. Excellent rhyme and the flow was perfect. Very Funny!

[Venomous Vixen]

Ahhhh! You had to know I was going to love this Perfect... and hilarious too, the tequila treated you bad, prissy captain and his garnishments, ah and then of course the martinis... clever and wonderful!

[Wordsmyth]

Thanks Nup. You told me to have fun with it so I figured I would.

And thank you too D.....have to visit the brain slug planet someday.

Ahhhh! You had to know I was going to love this

Yes I did..... and THank You!!!

[RENA HANDS]

Did you intend ‘me?’

…Not too long ago, he treated (me) unkind,
So, no fiesta for me today.

What about…

But finally there in a dark corner I found,
Something hidden right there in the back (possibly crack of the wall)?
I (jumped up), yelled out with a joyful sound,
And grabbed the dusty bottle of my best friend Jack!

I think one exclamation would make your point, but I understand why you did it.

I think maybe the second stanza could be…

I went to the cabinet to see what I could find,
And there was my old buddy, Jose.
Not too long ago, he treated (me) unkind,
So, no fiesta for me today.

My rating for the original is 2/5!

I am not certain how this relates to alcohol abuse…for me it seems like just another broken stupor. But I suppose one drunken stupor after another would add to alcohol abuse.

[Wordsmyth]

Thank you Rena. Fixed the me and the !!! but left the rest.

I am not certain how this relates to alcohol abuse…for me it seems like just another broken stupor.

Obviously you're not a heavy drinker, because everyone who is knows that even spilling a drink, much less breaking a bottle of it, is alcohol abuse. Remember this is the humor section.

[Rain]

Nice job Mike, funny, flowed nicely, I can't really say anything too bad about it. I could drink those till my vision was blurred that was great

[Lubesh]

Very abusive oh yes hic! Your very good u know.

[Wordsmyth]

THanks Al!

And a big thank you to you Lu!

[Vorcla]

Nice, Mike. You seem to have an affinity for alcohol related themes!