[fairdoes]

The first poem I wrote:

For Starters

'Write a poem,' our teacher keeps yellin'
But us boys take the pee and say 'shove it!'
Only girlies and wimps can do poems
That's what I think. Oh bugger, I've done it!

For twelve hours a day I've bin slavin'
Maintaining a decent street cred
But the court's just adjourned in the bike-shed
The verdict? 'Big softy - You're dead!'

Life's full of surprises though, innit?
Here I sit, pen in hand, chewing gum
And compared to graffitiing lamp-posts
What the hell, I confess, this is fun!

[Lubesh]

That's not a bad effort for your first serious attempt. Very expressive. Keep it up

[BookWhale***]

Hum... Interesting... Maybe if you change the slange spelling, though?

[fairdoes]

Thanks for the feedback. the spelling is a bit 'English'

[purpulfantom]

That's the first poem you wrote?

Wow! With talent like that you could write for a living!

[Anonymous]

I agree with Bookwale about the slang. Perhaps you can try and come up with some better words aswell.