The Lie. - StoriesMania - short stories, poems, essays, scripts and online fiction

**Syrah** · #1 (**permalink**) 02-10-2006, 05:19 AM

On a sweet summer night,
with not a cloud in the sky
and the stars shining bright,
my lover told a lie.

It broke my heart in pieces,
the way that it hurt,
I ate so many Reese's
I gained so much girth.

Author's note:I was originally writing this for the fifty-five but couldn't think of a last line. Once I posted it up... I thought of one. Thought I'd still post it up anyway.

#2 (**permalink**) 02-10-2006, 05:26 AM

It's funny. It's short. It's sweet. The first stanza you think 'hmmmm, this isn't humour, seems quite like heartbreak/sorrow or some such style.' And the last line is a nice finisher. Not sure if I prefer this one of your actual entry to the FFFC, its a close one case they're written quite differently. But I'm partial to a nice bit of humour.

Holy Christ on a bike!!!!!!!

**Syrah** · #3 (**permalink**) 02-10-2006, 05:28 AM

LOL. Well you are always good for a bit of laugh. Thanks dunc.

#4 (**permalink**) 02-10-2006, 05:32 AM

nice to know, lol

#5 (**permalink**) 02-10-2006, 05:44 AM

I think the change fit with the rhythm a little better but word-wise they were both good.

Holy Christ on a carousel!!

**Syrah** · #6 (**permalink**) 02-10-2006, 05:56 AM

Like all the pretty painted pony's, duncan?

lol

loosygoosy007 · #7 (**permalink**) 03-10-2006, 12:53 AM

Aww, that stinks. I do the same thing when I'm upset, Syrah. It seems to make everything better, except your weight, that is.

Great poem.

osofoaddo · #8 (**permalink**) 04-10-2006, 03:10 AM

Nice and really funny to me ... with a nice rhyming systen too .. thanks for sharing.. A good poem Peter Addo

**Syrah** · #9 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 04:24 AM

Thank you Peter.

Storiesmaniac · #10 (**permalink**) 12-10-2006, 03:11 PM

i enjoyed that...lol...but then i like laughing at silly little things like that...sucker she got fat and lost her lover...hahahaha....

**Syrah** · #11 (**permalink**) 12-10-2006, 03:15 PM

LOL. Hmm. I have a confession. I've never done that. heh.

Raider · #12 (**permalink**) 27-10-2006, 01:34 PM

haha! Thats was great ^^. I was looking forward to more writing by you, and this made it worth my wait. Good stuff! resses, rofl...

**Syrah** · #13 (**permalink**) 27-10-2006, 01:37 PM

Yes. hmm, Reese's. I ate all of mine and I'm on the peanut butter m&ms. hmmm.

JamieAdams · #14 (**permalink**) 27-10-2006, 05:37 PM

Well, I suppose that is one way of dealing with it

**Syrah** · #15 (**permalink**) 28-10-2006, 02:12 AM

I'm not dealin with anything, lol. Nothing to deal with. Just joking around. hehe. (honestly its amazing if I eat more than one candybar a month. Hell, even 6 months) Seriously though... I just wrote this. Not autobiographical. Never got that upset over a guy. hmm.

Storiesmaniac · #16 (**permalink**) 28-10-2006, 11:13 AM

except for me...sorry syrah i just cant handle our relationship...lol....hahahaha .....i hate it when people assume that you have written a poem about yourself...ever heard of observations people?

Raider · #17 (**permalink**) 28-10-2006, 01:51 PM

well it is generally easier to write about personal experiences...but you should never assume, or pry, that a person has gone the X situation.

jason · #18 (**permalink**) 29-10-2006, 05:00 AM

Nice work, Syrah. It's the kind of poem that really sticks in your head and only takes a few seconds to memorize.

**Syrah** · #19 (**permalink**) 29-10-2006, 01:57 PM

Thanks.

I like light-hearted things. Hmm.

Nephilim · #20 (**permalink**) 22-12-2006, 08:01 AM

very bittersweet (no pun intended). hits a little too close to home for some people to be humour, but still a wonderful verse.

Cloud Envy · #21 (**permalink**) 07-02-2007, 06:11 AM

i love the poem even though i thought it ended to quickly!

bb17bb17 · #22 (**permalink**) 07-02-2007, 06:58 AM

haha, i lyk it!