[a&Ω]

Michigan, laughter,
Midst the streets of sorrow.
Berry is the bee that finds the hollow,
He harvests and reaps,
In his chambers, secrets he keeps.
Stirring, he discovers Buddha.





Author's Note: This is part of a series where I randomly walked up to people on a US Navy ship, got their name, and then wrote an abstract poem as fast as I could about them. The title is the name of the person the poem was written for. It is instructive to note, that this, and other poems of this series were written with as little thought as possible, in order to bring out as much of the abstract art as possible.




©2007 Joshua Ledbetter

[Lubesh]

In his chamber the secrets he keeps.

That was nice with the imagery used and the mental picture it drew.

One line above, i thought would keep it poetic if 'the' wasn;t used and a semi colon to produce the pause

In his chamber; secrets he keeps..or acomma

Just a thought.

[a&Ω]

Thanks, I will take that advise.

[Corneac]

Another one that I enjoyed...vivid in its execution. Keep 'me coming aspiasu

[RENA HANDS]

I believe the word is harvests..."He harvests and reaps,"

"In his chamber, secrets he keeps," to continue with the flow of the sentence, should it not be..."In his chambers, secrets he keeps."

What a very clever way to write a poem, just go out into the world and find a random entity or being for inspiration. I strongly applaud the effort and look forward to future writings of this sort.

[angel]

cool piece asp loved it