[PICK] Fingerprint in the Sky

[Venomous Vixen]

Thumbnail hangs in the sky,
invisible fingerprint
as I grasp for things
beyond my reach,
stretch my limbs
to the heavens,

the sun kisses
the hairline
of the mountain
setting its crown
aglow,
laying a kiss
upon the forehead
of the peaks of its silhouette,

The thumbnail points
downward to places I’ve been,
as I reach for those
places it has seen,
the hand becomes clear,
takes mine in its
under the setting sun,
we share all the things
unknown to us both,
in a dance
upon the horizon

[Hirak]

Ahem, very romantic.. one suggestion. Capitalize your lines while editing, at least those that mark a new beginning.

Take for eg.

The thumbnail points
downward to places I’ve been,
as I reach for those
places it has seen,
the hand becomes clear,
takes mine in its
under the setting sun,

Your four segments between commas are good, but they can't be a single construction without a full stop.

[Gurdit]

You really like dancing, don't you?
I remember you mentioned dancing even in "Moonlit Tryst" (or some other poem).

Anyway, I liked reading this. I liked the transition from the thumb cloud in the sky to the real hand that's reaching out to you. It reminds me of an Aerosmith video "Fly Away From Here", where a girl is lying on the bonnet of a car with her boyfriend/lover/husband/whatever, stretching out her arms to try and touch the sky.

In a similar vein, I see you lying somewhere (possibly a garden) staring at the blue sky, and as it starts darkening, someone (no names taken ) reaches out and takes your hand into his own.

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you both very much, and yes... I do so love dancing, especially out in the open under the sky... something so soothing about it.

[Lubesh]

This was so pretty and u turned some nice phrasing with the pictures u created..nice write bri!

[Corneac]

Oh god Bri. This was just beautiful really - jsut...ahhhh. I loved it truly.

the sun kisses
the hairline
of the mountain
setting its crown
aglow,
laying a kiss
upon the forehead
of the peaks of its silhouette,

Just beautiful. Your descriptions...blew me away really...and yeah...the relevance...tugged ta the heartstrings a bit. awesome. Hairline of the mountain…mmmm….Inspiring. Breath Taking.

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you Lu!

Chris, gah sometimes you just make me gush and blush... haha I feel so proud when you really like something of mine because I respect your writing so much. Thank you!

[jason]

Good job...some very vivid images. Any religioius undertones in this poem?

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you for reading There was no religious intent here - spiritual, yes, but not religious in the sense of gods and immortals, more so nature and humanity.

[Vorcla]

So pretty I wept. The crescent moon - "God's thumbnail." This is just beautiful, Bri. The images are incredible - but yours always are. I've been trying to get back and catch all of your older material and I don't know how I missed this. Just incredible.

And I'd love to see you dancing under the open sky...

[Venomous Vixen]

Thanks hun.

[RENA HANDS]

the sun kisses
the hairline
of the mountain
setting its crown aglow,

Now that’s poetry! I think too many THEs, but that's just my thoughts. I highly rate the imagery 5/5!

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you Rena!!

[Vorcla]

Saw this one come back up and stopped in for a rewind. Gaahhh! This is so pretty. Thank you, Bri.

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you again hun.

[MindsEye]

Ever reaching... are we not? but what is it that lies beyond our grasp? the unknown, that for which we yearn, a lost childhood, or an unattainable dream, or merely peace and joy? Your use of imagery here is wonderful and effective. Imagine that unison of shared knowledge and experience... not only a spiritual journey but one of love and passion as well. again I must say that your images are so strong here but the content and emotion make it a well rounded piece. I feel as if you are hanging between the bonds of earth and the ethereal. Superb piece Great job

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you very much for the glowing comment and yes, you got the gist. It is that longing, for things not only passed but those which we do not yet know, things beyond even our comprehension, beyond the bounds of Earth and the capacity of our minds. It is about that moment where you feel you get a little slice of it in your grasp and meld with it, and then realize when the feeling leaves that there is an infinate amount of things out there and I think most will keep reaching for the unknown. Anyhow, thank you again for the kind words.