[psycosis]

Here we go again,
back for another round.
Rather than the peace I seek,
it was chaos that I found.

Even though the scenery has changed,
the people stay the same,
doing the same things;
the only thing different is the name.

Everyone claims individuality,
yet they follow just like sheep.
Afraid to go alone,
the beaten path is where they keep.

We all have opportunities
to step out on our own,
to show the world our independence
from the flock where we were thrown.

We're zigging and we're zagging,
to avoid the crap the past has laid.
We must learn from those before us,
or our lives will surely fade.

So do you want to live,
and accomplish something with your life?
Then get off that beaten path,
and endure your share of strife.

And when you do fall down,
get up and brush the dust off of your pants.
Proudly walk with your head held high,
because at least you took a chance.

[Rakkasan]

You've just nailed a basic truth of human nature. This is a great read with a wonderful thematic tone. A little awkward on the flow, but not bad at all.

Originally Posted by psycosis

So do you want to live,
and accomplish something with your life?
Then get off that beaten path,
and endure your share of strife.

And when you do fall down,
get up and brush the dust off of your pants.
Proudly walk with your head held high,
because at least you took a chance.

Great close, and a valid statement to make. Nicely put down.

[psycosis]

thank you rak....It took a couple edits but am happy with it

[RENA HANDS]

Applauses. The rhythm was a bit halted, but u managed to make ur poetic point. I think too that the delivery could be a bit stronger where less words are used but replaced with something more potent.

Everyone claims individuality,
liars, meek weary sheep(.)?
afraid to wander(,)?
the beaten path is where they keep.

I am certain that my suggestion (though not warranted to changed) alters ur original punctuation, alas I’m uncertain of it myself.

[Lubesh]

Nice to see your return wb btw and some I rememebr vivid but simplified messages and thoughts....took me back to ur one horse town set up....lol

[Phonoho]

I see little in this piece that genuinely qualifies it for placement in the Advanced section. Your use of convenient rhyme pairings and well worn metaphors keep it squarely on that "beaten path" and break no new ground. Instead of being a bellwether and leading your readers to greener pastures you have sacrificed the adventure of true inspiration for the comfort and safety of sure footing.
Advanced poetry is not hard to produce, but those fences must first come down, spurred on by an actual distaste for the same old fodder that keeps us penned in.