[Rain]

You can push me,
you can shove me,
but I’m not going anywhere.

You may hate me,
you may despise me,
but I’m still not going anywhere.

You can scream,
and you can shout,
but I’ll be everywhere.

You can think me away,
you can wish me away,
but at the end of the day,
I’m still with you.

Sincerely,
Your very self.

[Syrah]

I love the concept of this. Well structured and well executed. I don't have any suggestions. Great work Tay.

[Rain]

Thank you

[RENA HANDS]

Extremely expressive but then I think it’s lacking more potency (for me personally). The words are there, but there could be more…

In no way do I know if my punctuation is correct, it just came to me on a whim...

Push me, watch as I fall,
Shove me, hear my scratching against the wall,
I remain anyway.

Hate me, spit upon my image,
Despise me,
Smash me into a million pieces,
still I remain.

Scream from your lungs,
shout from your (dying) soul,
here I will always remain.

Throw a thousand pennies,
wish me gone…laughter on you
at the very bottom I remain.

Sincerely,
Your very self.

[Rain]

See I have a problem with your suggestions on this one Rena, you changed everything, the simplicity of it was what I was going for and you seemed to exclude all simplicity that I was putting forth. Simplicity to me at time is important, and in this one, it was made to be a simple poem.

[RENA HANDS]

You asked my thoughts and I gave them to you. In no way are you or were you obligated to take anything I suggested/thought into consideration therefore altering your original piece. And I agree ‘simplicity’ can be just as entertaining as its opposite.

[Jess1016]

I dig this. It certainly gives a very haunting message; kind of a Jesus and Peter sort of vibe. where the holy spark is inside all of us and its impossible to deny it. That we cant escape our selves no matter how me try. Maybe I'm off on the analysis, but its awsome none the less. Good Stuff.

P.S. Blink 182 ROCKS

[Rain]

Thanks Jess And yes they do! .