[Lubesh]

Shout to the soul,
The core of our life,
The balance,
The vying for independence.
Struggles in a sigh,
Sobbing a still cry,
Belief of the past,
Relief of its passing,
Cast a glance into glory,
Fast a stance onto welcome ground.
Sing the last bastions you climb,
Sing let your body enliven,
Shake off the crumbled layer,
You’re breaking free,
Let the deluge be me,
A catalyst, crisp, free, strong
Inner workings of mind and spirit
Stretch an uncontrollable urge,
Yawns of awakening,
Pump raw found blood,
It clings to life’s vessels
And surges my soul,
Awakening a song to be sung
As I climb,
And when I reach the top -
The silver of my moon's domain,
I cry down to below,
And ask, ‘What was my name again?’
And demand more,
Then more,
And more,
Till I devour and am sated,
A feast to last many lifetimes,
I will not settle till I reach the very pinnacle
That shines down from me,
And when I get there,
I will yearn for more,
Then more,
And more…
When starvation’s thirst is quenched
I will look for…
Food.

[Rain]

My head hurts cause it seemed to read so fast . No, it was really good, very choppy and read quite fast, which was different, maybe it was me i dont know but it seemed like it was supposed to be like that? If not maybe something is wrong with me(that's the understatement of the year). Pretty good job.

[Lubesh]

On going..choppy yes to keep u at it maybe.....love when u read my stuff...cos it can bea a head hurter lol

[Blink]

I thought it flowed nearly perfectly throughout the piece, but I can see where it could be read as fast and painful for the head.Some lines I particularly enjoyed were:
"Belief of the past,
Relief of its passing,"

"The core of our life,
The balance,
The vying for independence"

Those were my personal favorites... good stuff Lubesh.

[Lubesh]

Thank you v much.

[RENA HANDS]

APPLAUDS! APPLAUDS! APPLAUDS!

As I climb,
And when I reach the top -
The silver of my moon's domain,
I cry down to below,
And ask, ‘What was my name again?’
And demand more,
Then more,
And more,
Till I devour and am sated,
A feast to last many lifetimes,
I will not settle till I reach the very pinnacle
That shines down from me,
And when I get there,
I will yearn for more,
Then more,
And more…
When starvation’s thirst is quenched
I will look for…
Food.

And the way you convey the potency of 'wanting more, yearning for more.'BRILLIANT!

How could I not give a rating of 5/5!?

[Lubesh]

Thanks rena lol

[Vorcla]

I liked it fine; no headaches! Punchy, but still had a nice smooth flow, and of course your patented images and language. Very nice, Lu.

[Lubesh]

Thanks rick