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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 26-08-2008, 07:41 AM
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Shells of the Land

Stoic but fragile alliances
Varnish the vessel’s ceramic and flawless guise
Of porcelain
Her fragile beauty mars the inner strength
Of substance and contradicts a flimsy force
That holds tenuously, sinews connecting
A fragile right to be.

A fragile right to be
Broken easily and with frail force of conflict
Delicately pieced
Lacking weak excuses, muscles develop
Lean and strong and contradict an inferior poise
Of cracked sub structure and damaged, painted,
Stoic, but fragile alliances
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Old 11-09-2008, 12:00 AM
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Re: Shells of the Land

wow that was good, the way you started the second stanza with the same line as the end... and the way you ended the poem with the first line... your lines were very epic to an extant... made me read over a few of them again. Like:

"Broken easily and with frail force of conflict
Delicately pieced "


That's my favrite. Good job(I hate when poems get 0 posts...)
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Old 11-09-2008, 02:10 AM
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Re: Shells of the Land

Beautiful indeed, clever mirror effect of beginning, middle and end. I enjoyed the use of 'sinews' and also read this over a few times. I could not figure if the stanzas mirrored one another or where from a different POV but by the end it seemed to make a bit more sense, and I think there is a deeper meaning beyond shells and sea creatures Well well done.
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Old 11-09-2008, 03:08 AM
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Re: Shells of the Land

Thank you both....as alwasy a deeper meaning but am not telling lol
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Old 30-09-2008, 02:31 PM
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Re: Shells of the Land

Ah. Your words are always so "purty," Lu. I like the mirror effect as well. Can't figure out what the second layer of meaning is (and you're not telling), but that's okay. I like the part I can get just fine. Nice job.
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Old 01-10-2008, 02:07 AM
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Re: Shells of the Land

Why thankee.lol
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Old 19-10-2008, 09:02 AM
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Thumbs up Re: Shells of the Land

Sweet mayhem! What form of poetry is this? The manner in which you repeated yourself without being tedious…The BRILLIANCE you have to pen thoughts/emotions/imagery with what I presume to be very little effort…SUPERB!:evi l: (*These little smilies mean nothing, I just think they are adorable.)

My favorite line…

Quote:
Her fragile beauty mars the inner strength
Of substance and contradicts a flimsy force
I shall be like the dog that loves to chase its tale, to capture the moment of elation and rate your posting…5/5!
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Old 20-10-2008, 06:58 AM
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Re: Shells of the Land

lol you should write poetry ...ha ha thanks rena my buddy.
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