A Moment

[Lubesh]

Moment by moment
brush stroke and stroking
Captivated and lost in a single token

Silken oneness flows mid length
To grace the curves that calls his strength
Soothing bristles glide and preen
He breathes her aura from pristine sheen
Each strand he holds before firm fingers release
In slow motion, a gleam of inner peace...

Untangling devoutly each small knot, out of place and brought about
by sheer tussles of want, of life and day to day hopes of futures
amid the wrestling bouts. Through sunned pane’s translucent
bare, resounds a glint, and a glimmer of dream layered densely there.
Playing on the strands of fanned tress’s stare, when he brushes
he has such hopes for them.

Cast, he sees a reflection not his own, but her deeper sanctuary
hidden, alone. Ensconced within yet she melts the glass; subdued,
and happy to to be second class out of view. Falling hair masks deeper
the thoughts he seeks as he runs a wooden handle to free a peek,
hoping for a glimpse, a secreted yearning into her simplest desires,
always they are uncomplicated and demand nought of what sometimes
life requires.

Smoothed, the chaos and unkempt, taut unrest, she throws back
her hair and lets his chest take the brunt of laughter and the comfort
she finds in there as she swings her head followed by hopes and illicit dreams
and unaware that she delves deep into his eyes, still searching
from behind his own tousled lair.

[Venomous Vixen]

Cast, he see a reflection not his own, but her deeper sanctuary

sees or can see?

I got a bit lost midway but think I made it back on course. Usually you weave something through the entire piece, like that of the brushes and strokes in the beginning, but here, midway, you let that bit go and touched on something more real. I sort of liked that, the cloak of a metaphor and then no more. There was also something very sexual about this one, though it was never flat out said it seemed very erotic.

Well done, as always and you are getting some meaty ones out of you lately!

[Lubesh]

Thanks bri and yes....it is or can be semi erotic and sweet and stuff in the guise of a simple gesture lol so i darent put anymore ...overkill but u got there.

[Vorcla]

I missed this - trying to catch up. Nice. Sometimes what is unsaid is as important as what is said. Took me a long time to realize that, but I think I'm better for it. Very subtle - and I definitely get a sexual vibe from this, Understated, though, which is perfect. Good job, as always, Lu.

[Lubesh]

Thanks Rick...

[RENA HANDS]

This is awkward, but it might just be me…

and a glimmer of dream(s) layered densely there.

(Perhaps the (s))?

Also, I don’t think you need the comma here…

Playing on the strands of fanned tress’s stare,

You originally had the comma after 'the.'

What is ‘ensconced?’

Did you mean ‘hair?’

…from behind his own tousled lair. hair?

I see two ‘masked’ lovers unable to reveal themselves even if they are in a group of other ‘concealed’ individuals. The eeriness, prohibition of ‘love’ and all its turmoil emotions…you captured the ‘conflicted’ situation extremely well.

My rating 5/5!

[Lubesh]

Thanks rena one of those was right..lol but i'll take the five!

Also ensconced is - two dictionary doings as i'd mess it up.

To settle (oneself) securely or comfortably: She ensconced herself in an armchair.
To place or conceal in a secure place.