Somewhere-
in the cavernous corners of your heart
I lie.
Riveted-
delving deeper into the unfathomable abyss.
I am fastened to thoughts of you.
Memories-
that even sweet slumber cannot seize
you arrive with your ardour even in dreams.
Yearning for you when you’re absent,
Pining for your touch every moment
Miles away, in some obscure corner,
You rest,
ware of my love,
yet nought you can do.
Life and sentience deplore us
Their condemning gaze looking in askance
Denouncing the faith every instant
This censure, the Pit,
an anguished ordeal,
a solus survival
…without you…
Sans you, inamorato,
not a thing is worthwhile.
Yet here I am,
sanguine,
searching for a lone propitious omen
Someday we shall meet,
My thoughts will turn to reality…
I loved this Nup, was beautiful and heartfelt and everything a poem of this type should be. Damn...I wish someone had written this for me! I wouldn't worry about sounding corny or clich, there's enough originality and refreshing imagery to counteract the more common lines. It's rather a wonder...
Quote:
Till then,
I am, my paramour, in your heart.
You managed to breath new life into such tired sentiment, through your perfect word selcection. I loved a few of your terms...excellent.
Quote:
Life and sentience deplore us
Their condemning gaze looking in askance
Although I felt the rhming here flet a little forced. I'd redo that bit.
Quote:
Memories-
that even sweet slumber cannot seize
you arrive with your ardour even in dreams.
But then you pull out little gems like this...and I'm just like...whoa....fanstic, beautiful. Equisite piece...well done Nup
__________________
"Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go;
And Conrad cries out - Oh! Oh! Oh!
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast;
That both his thumbs are off at last.
Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;-
"Ah!" said Mamma "I knew he'd come
To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb." - The Story of Suck-a-Thumb, Heinrich Hoffman
Thanks Chris! Haha, I was honestly worried about this one. There's still too much repetition and stuff. But thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it.
Gurdit, thank you. Your opinion always means a lot, specially on this one. Thanks a ton.
Your opinion always means a lot, specially on this one. Thanks a ton.
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