[Reik Mohican]

Pages of words best saved for phone calls,
Deleted mindlessly with the tap of one key
With another tap, they're lost forever, save for fleeting recollection
Not of words, sentences, or phrases,
Sentiments

The emotions that could never be conveyed
Through the cold uninviting glass of a screen

Perhaps on the phone.
There the core feelings live on,
Through the delicate quivers and awkward pauses,
Perhaps this is the only place they survive.
Slaughtered at the hands of rushed conversations,
Lost to the small talk and niceties of a crowded world

Perhaps on the phone...

[Rakkasan]

This is the second of your poems I'm reading (although you don't write poetry. lol), and once again, I'm not disappointed. You've brought it a long way over the past few weeks. I love how you have presented the subject matter.

The same is true of handwritten vs. typed/emailed correspondence. Technology facilitates the loss of personalized communications to some degree. Even hearing someone on the phone isn't as impacting as seeing their face as they speak to you.

[Peppy]

It's hard enough for me. Just felt like saying that for now, now. Poohyah.

Anyways, I thought this was well written and well thought, but I can't really feel anything (at the moment). I think it needs a little more "feeling" words, other than cold, but the honesty is enough to keep me entertained. Honesty is probably the best thing anyone can share.

[Blink]

That was great... the way you phrased it, the passion and emotion put forth into it, all of it seemed full of deep feelings.

The emotions that could never be conveyed
Through the cold uninviting glass of a screen

Your middle stanza, very short, but brilliantly put, you used the word "conveyed" almost perfectly, and the way you put "uninviting" described it so damn well. I thought it was interesting that there was no stanza pattern, or scheme, just like you wrote it and didn't care about stanza form which was a nice idea for this one, I believe, great stuff.

[Corneac]

I have to agree, whole-heartedly, this is great. A unique idea too, and you phrased it perfectly. I especially enjoyed some of your descriptions - beautifully apt:

Through the delicate quivers and awkward pauses,

Slaughtered at the hands of rushed conversations,
Lost to the small talk and niceties of a crowded world

I dunno. You chose something simple and so true, and worded it marvellously. It’s poetry like this that tugs at my heartstrings and makes me want to write more.

Great work, I look forward to seeing more of your work. Welcome to the site.

[Vorcla]

Most of it has already been said. If you keep writing lines like "Through the delicate quivers and awkward pauses," you're gonna have this poetry thing nailed. I don't claim to be a poetry expert - far from it - but I know what I like, and I like this. Nicely done.

[Corneac]

Vorcla's a poet in Wolf's Clothing lol

[Vorcla]

Originally Posted by Corneac

Vorcla's a poet in Wolf's Clothing lol

Ha! I gotta remember that, Chris. That would be a good user title.

[RENA HANDS]

I APPLAUD the simplicity of vocabulary executed and to the sentiments evoked, illustrated so enthusiastically(referring back to your language implementation).

,save for fleeting recollection

This is my favorite line.

My rating of this poem is 3/5. I think with a bit more editing, it could be GREAT.