[PaulJJ]

Tears of the forsaken,

taken, feared weak.

Speak of our love,

Dove of All Hopes.



Words of mass emotion,

commotion of our hearts,

parts to life’s puzzle,

muzzle to the truth.

[Rakkasan]

Very powerful bit. I absolutely love the second stanza. It conjures up so many thoughts. Each poem you write seems to show that you're getting better and better. I can't wait to see what you turn out next.

[PaulJJ]

Thanks Rakkasan. I also have to thank everyone on this site, I feel I have grown over my short time here.

Funny that maybe the best work I've done so far, like this one, came a ot easier to write then my other poems.

Also not sure if anyone has noticed but the end of each line I rhymed with the first word of the next line, I think it helped flow a little better.

[Rakkasan]

Originally Posted by PaulJJ

I also have to thank everyone on this site, I feel I have grown over my short time here.

It's fun watching your writing develop.

Originally Posted by PaulJJ

Also not sure if anyone has noticed but the end of each line I rhymed with the first word of the next line, I think it helped flow a little better.

You're right. It's not a mechanism that will be useful every time you write, but it certainly works to your advantage here. It really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

What's next on the list?

[PaulJJ]

Thanks Rakkasan. Well will let you know when I know