[Lubesh]

An ocean's apart
They too drift away
Are they slowly going insane?

Under the surface
Their minds at play
Compressed troubles, bubble their say

Wherever it goes
Whatever they do
My mind is always reaching for you
Whenever you say, even when my heart breaks
It will break on many shores with you

Seas comes in parts
Their tide pulled away
Torn from its seem, a broken bond of dismay

Each swell is a breath
The water is new
Each molecule separated, but only by you

As far as they can
Swim faster than you
My mind is racing up there with you
Whenever you quit, only because your heart aches
You will be washed to all shores, by you

[Venomous Vixen]

Tune reminded me of a Brian Adams song, which made it all the more sweet to read, set the pace for me. I enjoyed the use of sea terms throughout, bubbles, shores, adrift etc. Very well executed and somehow it strengthened the piece. Always love these out of you

[Lubesh]

Yep thats the guy...couldn't think of his namelol So it was near as dammit then? Good will gooogle later. Thank you bri.

[Rakkasan]

Very good, better than your average, but not your best. (Mine never seems to be a humble opinion, does it?)

A couple of things stood out.

Originally Posted by Lubesh

Seas comes in parts
Their tide pulled away
Torn from its seem, a broken bond of dismay

Seas come, and a sea comes, right?

Also, should it be "seam" instead of "seem"?

Originally Posted by Lubesh

As far as they can
Swim faster than you
My mind is racing up there with you
Whenever you quit, only because your heart aches
You will be washed to all shores, by you

This is so far into the "it doesn't really matter, but it's my opinion" catagory; never the less, would a dash rather than a comma emphasize a little stronger the last line?

Either way, very good poem and pleasant read. What's the connection to Bryan Adams?

[Lubesh]

Very good, better than your average, but not your best. (Mine never seems to be a humble opinion, does it?)

for that I am thankful.

Seas come, and a sea comes, right?

See, I was right lol...the sea ....bits of the sea.. or The seas come in parts??

This is so far into the "it doesn't really matter, but it's my opinion" catagory; never the less, would a dash rather than a comma emphasize a little stronger the last line?

Every little bit helps...i did wonder, was too tired to look for that something.

Either way, very good poem and pleasant read. What's the connection to Bryan Adams?

I ripped his tune off....lol loosely. And I never even knew his name lol

Seem..i think ur being pciky now lol

ty v much.

[Vorcla]

I found it restful, for some reason. I like the sea motif - even though I'm prone to motion sickness. Nice job, Lu.

[Lubesh]

ol shame...but glad you enjoyed it.

[Rain]

I liked it, it was peaceful to an extant... it flowed so perfectly at points honestly I smirked a little... nice stuff as always.

Tay

[Lubesh]

Thank you sweetheart.