A year ago, I let you go,
held the string and watched
the ball of yarn roll down the hill.
It seemed easier that way—
we stayed connected, but
I still let nature take its course…
or, rather,
I let it take you on its course.
But it only seemed easier
at the time.
My hand cramped;
I couldn’t find new ways
to keep hold of the string,
and tying your lifeline to my belt-loop
seemed quite inadequate,
like a betrayal,
a deferral to my unconscious
instead of a present urge to tug
on my end
and see if you tugged back.
So I tied it round my index finger
with an unsubtle knot which
made its presence rapidly known
in a dangerous shade of ecru.
Finally, I fashioned it into a necklace,
a collar of a sort,
conveniently reminding me of your
distant existence but
inconveniently choking me half to death.
You can imagine my relief when I saw you,
fighting natural laws and
climbing the hill to return to my side—
your natural place—
where the only remaining issue to sort out
is untangling the messy thread of our
shared life.
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"True progress means / matching the world to / the vision in our heads / but we always change / the vision instead"
Lovely! I definitely enjoyed it, but I wouldn't say that it's one of my favorites of yours. I think you said that it felt ungainly at times? That's exactly what I thought. There was a strange, rambling quality instead of the storytelling effect that I think you were going for. I also didn't quite connect with or visualize the metaphor as much as I usually do with your work. Not to say that this was anywhere near bad, which it wasn't, you might just want to give this one a second look-over when you have time.
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I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
Oh, I definitely will. There's one section that I stumble over every single time I read it back, and I think I'm just going to excise it rather than expand upon it. But I haven't quite decided. I'll let you know when I revise it. Thanks so much, Tricia.
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"True progress means / matching the world to / the vision in our heads / but we always change / the vision instead"
Thanks so much, Shimmee!
Linear Mode
