[Corneac]

A piggy back ride along the beach,
A phantom kiss beyond my reach,

Your fingertips enclosed in mine,
Your wild eyes, ceaseless divine,

The contoured cleft of your jaw,
The perfection leaves me in awe,

I breathe the perfume in your hair,
I submerge myself, no longer there,

I'm caressing your smooth cheek,
I'm breathless, my knees are weak,

Immersed within your veiled soul,
Wounds are healed, I am whole,

We are drowning in this embrace,
Lack of air, an unquenched taste,

We walk along, hand in hand,
Our feet tickled by the sand,

Immersed within your veiled soul,
Wounds are healed, I am whole,

Excellent. Loved this one til the end Corneac, it's really nice and soppy lol. good going.

[NLuv]

wow wonderful
very romantic

[Corneac]

Thanks Dunc and Nluv...yes very soppy glad you guys enjoyed it

[Phonoho]

Love. It's like drowning at sea, then evolving to live there. Sticky sweet. Good work, sailor.

[Corneac]

Thanks Captain...sticky sweet (nice description)...glad you enjoyed it

[Odanion]

I agree it is really romantic...and definetly one of your better pieces of work, I sure like your work it is extremely enjoyable to read...but you need to try writing a romance short story if you ask me...I am sure that with your romance capabilites...and your story descriptabilites (is this even a word?) you would be able to make one really good story

[Bluejay]

Very nice! I like the imagery and the intertwining of the real and the metaphorical, to the point you get lost knowing which is which. (In a good way, of course... )

[Corneac]

Thanks for the comments fellows...

Odanion thanks again mate. yeah I might try and write a romance one...good idea. I wrote one for the TOTM, but it needs a bit of work grammar and editing wise.

You should check it out...again thanks for all your feedback.

[Smyth'sDaughter]

This was a very sweet and touching poem. I like it

[Corneac]

Thanks SD...means a lot mate...

[RENA HANDS]

Is this a telling of two lovers walking the beach lost in the actions/ideas of love? Is this a memory of a loved one lost? I thought from the first stanza, the poem was a telling of the loving relation between parent and child, a child lost to death. The words used to describe this poem; superb, unforgettable and delightful.

[Corneac]

Wow...thanks Rena, for your comments.

[Sime Sheef]

I liked it, though I had to reread parts with unlcear discriptors. An example of an unclear descriptor: "A phantom kiss". It's not explaned in the poem exactly what this means. Often, unclear descriptors make sense to me after rereading them, but sometimes, like the example, since they are never used the same in speech, their meanings are unclear. I like "A phantom kiss"; it's new and sounds cool and it's your poetic licence to use it, but since I don't understand it, it leads me to think you don't either, though you probably do.

I loved the first line of each stanza. Each one had a memory to fit it. I especially loved the line "Lack of air, an unquenched taste" because it's almost a paradox; one I understand completely. Great job Corneac.

Simeon

[Corneac]

Thankyou Simeon. "A phantom kiss"...as kiss that that is almost a certainty, but that doesn't quite get there. It is sort of referring to, the piggy back ride, a hope...am I making sense? Lol. I'm not very good at explaining my intent within my poetry

Thanks for taking the time to comment...

[BrokenParadox]

Ahh! There are too many lines I want to comment! >_<
Lovely and romantic, Corneac. Good job ^_^

[Venomous Vixen]

I could get lost in this poem I especially like the description of her eyes, as I imagine them filled with wild abandon and passion, as a lover's rendevous should be. Captivating piece to say the least!

[shatteredsight]

EXCELLENT piece, I liked it! very romantic, etc, it's all been saidby those above me...beautiful imagery...very nice peice, Corneac!

[Nupur]

I echo everyone's thoughts about this one. I really could get lost in this one. I read it ages back and told you how I feel about this one. You created a beautiful picture in my mind. End rhymes really suit you; you do those extraordinarily well.

Immersed within your veiled soul,
Wounds are healed, I am whole,

This was just beautiful. The thought, the romance... wow. Excellent, Chris. You are bloody talented!