[xtremelady]

Welcome to my world,
Step inside if you dare,
Let the chaos drive you wild,
Hell it’s not like I care.

I tried to warn you,
I Tried babe,
I tried to do right by you,
Never say I didn’t try, babe.

So ya think the glimpse you seen,
Prepares ya for this life,
I am just a crazy has - been,
And I ...I thrive on strife.

I tried to warn you,
I tried babe,
I tried to do right by you,
Never say I didn’t try, babe.

I am not your keeper,
Do what the fuck you like,
If ya want to explore deeper,
Just don’t look to me for advice.

So...

Welcome to my world,
Step inside if you dare,
Let the chaos drive you wild,
Hell it’s not like I care.

Been busy of late – alas so much so stories got put on hold – guess my creative nature still needed an outlet. Wrote this on a napkin in lunch break – first time ever attempted anything of this type, have no idea where it came from either lol.

[Venomous Vixen]

I love it. One suggestion, slap a comma after the word hell in the first stanza. It just seems so natural to pause there when reading. Haha the feel of the toxic woman and the warning to the poor man, well is great really lol. I hope to see more of this from you!

[BookWhale***]

I really liked this - I just felt energy coming off of it. It was great. Plus, I always love seeing repitituion...

BW***

[xtremelady]

Thanks bri – agreed and comma inserted – I do have another 1 but doesn’t seem to fit together as well as this 1 – maybe for exchange of ideas or something. Got another few months working there so who knows what will emerge.

BW*** thanks – I 2 liked the energy...to me now seems alien – it started life as a doodle and feels strangely surreal I wrote lol. Even now looking at it; think needs at least two extra lines to each verse – but whatever inspiration hit me, appears to have taken flight – maybe cos I have few weeks off and back to my story. All suggestions most welcome.

[Eadha Deora]

yeahhh!!!! Catchy and so fittingly would make a great song. You should become one of those song-writers for music stars hehe ... good to see you round, btw

[Vorcla]

This is great - the spontaneous ones are the best kind. I usually write my best songs at 4 AM when I wake up and grab a guitar and an old 4-track tape machine. You GOTTA do it then or you'll lose it.

I'd like to see if I can come up with some music for this.

Rick

[xtremelady]

I wish I were musically inclined, and have great respect to those who are....was in a rock band way back when, but that is because they thought my hair style was wild/wicked – I made a great prop of sorts. Lol. Love to hear if you do decide to put the music to this...

You and eadha both have given me a desire to attempt more....no promises though
Thanks all

[Lubesh]

Specialin that ur doing it alsoanother string tothe bow ha ha...butmsuic and upload,would be nice to hear....Was impressed anyway caire....even made up a tune....dog liked it lol

[Vorcla]

Originally Posted by xtremelady

I wish I were musically inclined, and have great respect to those who are....was in a rock band way back when, but that is because they thought my hair style was wild/wicked – I made a great prop of sorts. Lol. Love to hear if you do decide to put the music to this...

You and eadha both have given me a desire to attempt more....no promises though
Thanks all

Hope you do. I'll let you know if I can put the lyrics to music.

By the way, Claire - thanks for giving me permission to use the lyrics in my story, "Fallen Angel."

Rick

[Nupur]

The lyrics are incredibly catchy. It obviously works as a song because of the repetition. Well written. Would make a terrific song.

[xtremelady]

Thanks nupur and lu,...{tune Lu?} the comment and enthusiasm had for this 1 - well I cant but help see if could write another you've created a monster lol. Appreciated all.

[Theboss1985]

You wrote a Hit Song those verse's are so catchy and the rhythm is great. The chorus is not as good as the verse's but if their tweaked a little it could be a top 40 hit.

The course u have isn't bad its just more of a per-chorus in my opinion so adding something after that would make it better.

Great job on the song, it's one of those I wish i wrote that songs

[xtremelady]

I very much agree about the chorus boss - and will try to come up with something else and expand on – thank you for the wonderful comment i really wish i had the means to for some of my lyrics be put to music